merci.

I'm your guy and you're my girl! (that's a little tune we sing from time to time)

Today I am thankful for Josh.

I'm just going to straight up give you a sappiness warning. I tried to censor the sap but it's hard to do that when I'm just being honest.  

 I could spend at least 30 days straight writing about why and how I am thankful for Josh! I was going to hold out for a bit before writing this post because it's one of the easiest things to be thankful for because he's just so awesome! What made me decide to go for now was the briefing I went to last night for spouses preparing for their partners to return from Afghanistan. Listening to the social worker go through the points of what to expect, what some hardships might be and suggestions for this transition time, made me realize I truly did marry the greatest guy out there! Our time apart has certainly not been easy but Josh has been so amazing through out all of it and I know will only continue with that once he comes home! So many of the points that were mentioned didn't even apply, which I attribute to Josh being who he is and all the great things he brings into our relationship. That's not to say soldiers who do have those struggles are any less than Josh because I can only imagine how difficult it is and there are a wide range of circumstances in which soldiers are returning home to. 

In my opinion, what has significantly contributed to the ease of transitioning back and forth from life together and apart is Josh's pursuit of simply serving me. There have been many times even during the past when he could have reacted negatively or harshly to something I brought up. Instead of deferring to his tendency to get defensive, he steps back to think of what I need in that moment and how he can serve me. Honestly, I'm not always deserving of this but he does it for me anyways, which is so important in helping diffuse what ever has got me so worked up (...and sometimes it doesn't take much!). During the briefing they talked about soldiers acting angrily towards their loved ones, which is a perfectly normal experience that all the other women shared in their experience. However, I don't feel Josh ever went through that because he was so concerned about giving me what I needed that his needs came second. I think I'm the one with the anger problems in this situation, which is yet another thing Josh deals with in love and grace towards me. What a great guy!

Another one of Josh's strengths is his sense of humour. Yes, there are moments (quite few actually) when I've had a hard time with his silliness and jokes but we have both grown so much in this area and I can confidently say I'm thankful for my goofy guy! He has been so thoughtful during this time to balance his silliness with seriousness and he does that mostly for me. However, I absolutely love the ways he makes me laugh because it's so unique to Josh. He's just so quarky and I think one of the funniest things is that he genuinely cracks himself up. Sometimes I laugh more at this fact than the actual funny thing! His sense of humour is so much a part of who he is that his alter-ego, "Sleepy Josh", is a total goof ball who will make jokes and talk in silly voices even though Josh is completely asleep. I miss just joking around with him and I'm so thankful for all the fun that we have together! I'm also thankful for the ways Josh forgives me for when I'm a fun killer and he reminds me that life doesn't always have to be serious!

I'm thankful for Josh's desire to grow and mature in his own character so that he can be a better husband and the best version of himself possible! His willingness to learn is amazing, which is evidenced in the small notebook he carries around and keeps notes about things to work on. I'm thankful that he forgives me for not always being patient as he continues to grow in certain areas or as fast I should like. I am thankful for all the ways he has grown over the years, especially in the past year. The changes in his life from even 2 1/2 years ago is huge and I trust that they're not just surface changes because I see the dedication, commitment and desire he puts into becoming the best man possible. I'm thankful that he lets me help him and listens to my suggestions (ahem...ok maybe sometimes they come across more as criticisms) even though I have the tendency to repeat them like I'm beating a dead horse (I don't like that cliche but it perfectly sums up this bad habit of mine).

I'm thankful for Josh's commitment to me, which is life long and absolutely unwavering. Josh is one of the most loyal and honest people out there. My goodness, he can't even force himself to deceive me about when he's coming home even after I've given him permission, and even encouraged him to! He's always been an all or nothing guy and when it comes to me, I think we all know what end of the spectrum he has stood on since high school! His commitment also shows in tasks he undertakes whether it's helping someone move or getting through five seasons of a tv show :) 

I'm thankful for all the ways he's contributed to my life and made me a better person. One of the biggest influences is his ability to help me not stress about things, which I'm noticing is a struggle to do when he's not here. He has helped me become so much healthier mentally because I was basically torturing myself with stress and worry, which he shows me is unproductive and harmful. I do have relapses though but in those moments I can rely on him to help set my priorities straight and regain some perspective. I have to admit that the classic saying, "opposites attract" is fairly accurate in our relationship because in so many ways we are complete opposites! This can divide people but it can also bring closer together than ever when they're willing to allow the other's strengths to build up their own weaknesses. Even though it can drive me crazy how particular Josh is about keeping things organized, I have to admit it is rather helpful when I'm running around at the last minute looking for that last little thing I need before heading out the door. Being with Josh has made me a better person and he continues to challenge me to only further grow and develop myself. Thanks guy!

I could go on and on...and on with sharing how amazing Josh is but I'm going to wrap it up with this last piece. I'm thankful for how Josh makes me feel. He always makes me feel listened to, even when what I'm saying isn't something he agrees with or necessarily appreciates. He goes out of his way to make me feel loved every single and doesn't let a day go by when he doesn't remind me how beautiful and cherished I am. He makes me believe in myself and gives me confidence when I struggle. And, although some women might not like this, he most definitely treats me like a princess and I like it! (not the snobby, too good for you princess though but he does like to spoil me like I'm a princess!). 

What can I say, my husband is great and I truly could not have asked for anyone better! Trust me, I'm a picky girl (haha something I'm also thankful for Josh dealing with in grace and forgiveness). I'm so proud of who he is and who he is striving to become. He has all of my confidence, belief and, of course, my love. I appreciate him for everything he does for me. And after a year of marriage, I'm even happier than the day I married him to get to spend the rest of my life with him! Some things were just meant to be I suppose :)

gracias.

Today I am thankful for video chat.

This has been my main means of communication with Josh over the past five months and without skype and google chat, we would have mostly been limited to email. I have spent much time complaining about the poor connection and the frustrations we have had when trying to video chat. Sometimes it felt that trying to have a conversation was most difficult than just not talking at all. That's how I felt after broken connections and hangups that took up about 40 minutes out of every hour and I think it's true that in some cases it would have been better just to not even try! However, it has been good to use video chat with Josh even though it is rare that we get through a conversation without any trouble and even more rare that we get to use the video function!
Today I was able to skype with my mom while she's in Malaysia and she gave me a whole tour of the gorgeous place she's staying in. It's amazing to be able to share something visually with another person even when they're miles away! We're also able to stay connected with my grandparents who have frequent skype chats throughout the day with their family members.
I was also reminded of the value of this technology today when some parents were saying their daughter knows her cousins in the States via their interactions on skype. Even in the Gilchrists' home skype (or the equivalent apple program, ichat) is used at least once every other day to talk with Julianne's parents. It's great that the girls' grandparents can interact with them when in person visits aren't able to happen very often.
As simple as it is, I'm thankful for this piece of technology that helps us stay connected with family and friends throughout the globe. Of course in-person visits are preferable but when distance prevents that from happening, it's great to have such an accessible alternative. Maybe when we're able to communicate via holograms, or better yet, just transport across the world, we might look back and laugh about how simple video chat seems. But for now, I am thankful for it.

dankbar.

What better to represent health than an apple?

Today I am thankful for health.

Some of you may be thinking it's ironic that I am thankful for health considering that over the past years it seems like staying healthy is a constant battle. When it comes to good health, this just isn't my strength because I constantly seem to be getting sick! If it wasn't my tonsils (good thing those guys are gone!) it was stomach aches or nose bleeds or back problems or concussions or, my goodness, even shingles! However, today I was at the medical lab getting blood test done (haha, ironically it's because I've been sick for a month and the doctor wanted to check into it) and I reflected on all the "haves"rather than the "have nots"when it comes to my health. Here's what I came up with:
-I have a body that doesn't function perfectly but it is more than able to get me around and function in this world without any challenges (with the exception of my lack of proprioception so sometimes I directly walk into stationary objects!)
-I have all of my limbs, fingers and toes. This is a good thing!
-All of my senses work very well and I only need the help of glasses when I'm particularly tired
-I am well enough to get up from bed and enjoy a long day out and about
-I don't any allergies (other than the fluffies from kleenex but that doesn't really count)
-Even though I've had some pretty serious illnesses in the past, I've never had to spend a night in a hospital
-I've never had to have surgery except to get rid of my tonsils and wisdom teeth (this is a good thing because the anesthetics make me an emotional wreck!)
-I've only broken one bone, which was enough to give me understanding of what that sensation is like and the joys of having a cast (I think that was secretly on my list of things to do, just once)
-I am not required to have a strict diet and I can eat pretty much whatever I want. That doesn't mean it's good for me but it's not something I constantly have to be thinking about
-I have a ridiculous metabolism (or something of the sort) so I've never had to battle with weight


 I was sitting there waiting for my blood test and looking around at the people there who come in on a regular schedule to get their tests run every few weeks. I might not be perfectly healthy but I am thankful that a visit to the doctor, blood clinic or the hospital is not part of my regular schedule because I enjoy a disease free life! It's easy to be annoyed with the flu bugs, colds, viruses, infections and other small maladies that kick us down for a bit (or maybe even a month) but this is nothing to what some people go through every day. I'm thankful for the health I DO have especially when there are many who are not as fortunate. 


If you can agree with any of the points I listed above, then I hope that you can also be thankful for your health because it's something we can easily take for granted. 


Finally, let's be thankful for the opportunity to receive health care in the instances where our health isn't perfect. In Canada we have access to a multitude of health services, much of which we don't need to pay for out of our pocket. Beyond what's covered by the government, many people have employer benefits, which will sometimes even pay for massages! How great is that? So, not only do I have lots to be thankful for in regards to my own health, I also am thankful for access to limitless services to improve my health in virtually any way it's required. The health care system isn't flawless and there are many frustrations that I'm sure we've all experienced but we are given so much as many others die from illnesses we can treat at home. 
If you're interested, check out some stats here. We are so fortunate!  

riconoscente.

photo link

Today I am thankful for Canada.

Remembrance Day is a time when all Canadians have the opportunity to reflect on the value of freedom and the sacrifices of those who fought for the peace and freedom we are blessed with in our country. We are so fortunate to live in a nation where we can feel safe leaving our home, speak our minds without fear, practice any religion without condemnation, petition our concerns before our politicians, travel wherever and whenever we want, and are entitled to a comprehensive list of rights that are honoured and preserved by the government. Of course our country, government and all citizens of Canada are not perfect. In fact, they're far from it! However, at least we live in a place where we have an opportunity to work towards improvement and growth without fearing for our lives and the well being of our family. Without the freedom that others have fought for on our behalf, there's no telling if we would enjoy this same quality of living today.
I want to share a few stories with you that have helped put our freedom into perspective for me:
One morning I woke up to a loud explosion that shook the walls of my house. I was so suddenly woken up that for a while I was convinced I had imagined that in my half asleep state. When I got up I eventually asked one of my roomates if she heard something strange or maybe felt the walls shake like I had. Good thing I asked because she was doubting it happened too! It turns out there was an explosion at a nearby plant and even though it was roughly a kilometer away, it was fairly startling! A few were injured but no one was killed in the explosion, thankfully. It made me realize that some people, too many, have this experience of explosions and bombs nearly every day! Not only that, they go about their day never knowing if these explosions are going to take their business, their home, their life or the life of a loved one. I can't even imagine living in that horror of constantly hearing explosions but never knowing when or where they will happen!
I remember the story someone shared with me about her experience speaking with Afghans about the war and the role of American and Canadian soldiers. One woman had lost her son during an air raid back when the USA first invaded Afghanistan in 2001. She asked the woman if she was angry at the western soldiers for causing this great loss in her family. Her response was an absolute no. Despite the tragic and unjust death of her son she was thankful for the soldiers because they were fighting for her people; her son's death was a sacrifice made on behalf of the greater good for her country. I'm thankful to live in a country where we aren't required to make such enormous sacrifices simply to battle for the rights we are entitled to as humans.
Finally, I think of women around the world who are oppressed, discriminated against and abused simply based on their gender. They are denied access to education, are restricted in their day to day activities and will always be viewed as the lesser gender, some even going as far to considering them only slightly above the most disliked animals. I cannot imagine being subject to this treatment simply because I'm a woman but, sadly, for some women this is all they have known. I'm thankful that I have the same rights as a man in this country and even though there are many ways to improve in the issue of gender discrimination, I can still make my own decisions, go where I want (with or without a man!), seek justice when I have been wronged and have access to all the services our country offers. My heart mourns for women in the world who have not, and perhaps never will, experience these things. 
Today I give thanks for being a citizen of a free nation, which was not because of anything I did but because I was blessed to have been born here. I think of those who work so hard to escape from their country and government so they can have a better life in Canada. I am thankful for our free country, which has much room for improvement but provide us with so much because of those who came before us and fought for it. 

reconnaissant.

Today I’m thankful for education.

I have spent my fair share of time grumbling not only about tests, homework and teachers but also about the education system in general. However, today as I was tutoring I realized that, even with it’s problems, I am thankful to have learned and worked in our education system. We were reviewing Grade 9 chemistry today and, sure, I really haven’t used much of that knowledge since Grade 9 so I was pretty rusty on the subject, but I think it’s great that I at least had the opportunity to learn it! No, learning the difference between and ionic and molecular compounds did not change my life, nor did it inspire me to pursue anything chemistry related! However, I was taught about these things by a good teacher, in a safe environment and surrounded by friends so that if the situation arose that this knowledge would be helpful, I would know it!

I certainly have a critique on the education system and the overloading of information partnered with some questionable assessment practices. But, I still see lots to be thankful for especially as a resident of Alberta who had free access to kindergarten through Grade 12 education (one of the best curriculums in our country and, some might claim, worldwide) and the opportunity to attend a post secondary institution.

I challenge you to take a moment to reflect on the people around the world who were never taught to read and write, who can’t afford to attend school (or perhaps purchase the uniform), women who have to learn in secret because it’s forbidden by their government, those with special needs who cannot access a school or programs designed for their unique needs, and those who will walk hours in war-torn countries simply to get an education. I’m thankful to be educated, to have access to continue education and the opportunity to help educate others.

agradecido.

Speaking of imaginary worlds, this is one of my favorites, which is not so imaginary thanks to Universal Studios in Orlando. 

Maybe one day I'll make it out there to see it for myself!

Today I am thankful for playing.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to get to play with kids every day! Playing, imagining and make-believing makes the world come alive in ways that we forget in our adult years. Playing is beyond just doing something for fun or entertainment; in that moment it’s everything in a child’s world and it’s pure joy. I love to see Laurel (who is now coming up to 2 ½) as she “play games” with me and something as simple as playing catch with a teddy bear brings her immense happiness. Her joy and happiness is uninhibited and you can just tell by her smile that she’s having the best time of her life! The funny thing is 3 minutes later you can be doing something else and she’ll still have that same sense of amazement and excitement despite how simple the activity may seem.

Last night she climbed on my back and started patting me with intention and thought. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was making me taller. We played like this for a while longer and then again today and the whole time she is just happy as a clam. To have the ability to create a world where you can make people taller by (this was her method…) putting food on their limbs, patting it down and then wiping off the “dirties” is truly a gift in my adult world of worry and obligations!

So often my mind is occupied by more things than it can keep track of, many of which involve problem solving and stress management. Taking time to just simply play and watching someone else have complete and unhindered fun, is a momentary escape from our complex and sometimes overwhelming adult world. I love hearing about kids’ imaginary worlds and the amazing and simple way of seeing the world. For example, the time when I asked preschoolers what a bubble looks like and one responded, completely seriously, with, “it looks like underwear”. Then his peer spoke up and says it actually looks like a magical wall that when you pass through it you enter a magical world and turn into magical animals and monsters. Whoa! I want to live in a world where I can see underwear and magical worlds in a bubble (p.s. kids the right answer was iridescent and transparent but, hey, I guess it could look like underwear…right?)

Oh to engage this world as a child and just simply play.

thankful.

A picture of three tuckered Donovans on the airplane back from Mexico. Please note that even though Kelsey (middle) appears to be the less knocked out than then Jen and I, she was so drugged on Gravol that we had to stick something up her nose to wake her up. 

Ok, maybe we didn't have to do that but nothing else was as effective!

Today I am thankful for the gift of sleep. 

Sure my night was plagued with dreams of a cleaning crew that came through my house and took all items that could be used to create crystal meth (I have no idea where that came from!), but I was able to get 8 hours of sleep! I have a love-hate relationship with my sleep these days to the point where weeks go by and I forget what “real” sleep even feels like. The problem is it’s not a typical and identifiable sleep disorder that’s constantly depriving me of sleep. No, my problem is that I dream too intensely to the point where I can’t even distinguish reality some days! My dreams can be like a prison that I’m trapped in and subjected to without any control over my situation. Have you seen the movie, "Inception"? Well that is almost my exact experience with dreaming to the extent of waking up 3 times before I’m actually in reality again! At one point I even started taking anti-seizure medication to dampen my brain activity at night. Over the past few months the medication was effective but then stopped working so I’m off it all together so at least I don’t have to deal with the side effects.

However, last night I had a real, drug-free sleep! It wasn’t quiet, peaceful and as restful as some people regularly experience but the big part is that I woke up with a sense that rest was actually accomplished! It was exciting for me but also for Josh who gets very regular updates on all the adventures I go on in my dreams and suffers when my exhaustion results in grumpiness and a lack of patience. 

Today I am thankful for sleep. I’m thankful for the opportunity to have 8 uninterrupted hours while enjoying my slumber on a cozy bed under warm blankets and in a safe home. Sure I might not have the most restful of sleeps but I know there will be many people around the world going to bed tonight without the simple blessings of a bed, a blanket, a home and safety. 

30 Days of Thankfulness

Photo Source: http://kerryskronicles.blogspot.com/2011/10/building-inspiration.html

This is the beginning of a new blogging series, if you will, which will focus on being thankful each day. I have been inspired to do this for a few different reasons. The main reason is because I am having a really hard time going into the home stretch of Josh being gone. Some might think that it should be easier because the end is in sight but it actually works the opposite way for me! I’m so tired of this time of separation and it’s hard to maintain a good attitude when I just want the remaining time to pass quickly so we can get it over and done with. It’s a struggle to have a positive attitude each day when I anticipate how much better it will be to have Josh back. As his return comes closer it’s hard to look forward to the future and not feel bitter and angry that I can’t have those things now! Yes, it’s an opportunity for growth for both of us but married people are meant to be together and I’m just really ready for that to happen for us once again! We both are. So, as a way of dealing with my frustration and struggle attitude until Josh returns, I’m going to spend 30 days writing about something I am thankful for each day.

I think we all go through times where it’s a challenge to be thankful and positive because our current situation is full of difficulties and growing pains. I don’t want to use that as an excuse for having a bad attitude but I don’t think there’s anything wrong in acknowledging that it happens! It doesn’t mean we like feeling this way or are refusing to do anything about it.

Sometimes we just need someone to agree with what’s on our mind and just outright say “this sucks” not so we can feel justified in our misery but just so that we know what we’re feeling is ok, it’s not wrong. It’s very kind when people try to respond to our difficulties by reminding us of the positive things in life but there comes a point when hearing it from others just doesn’t help because we’ve become numb from our own pain. Our attitude is derived from our thoughts and experiences so until we can bring ourselves to be genuinely thankful and positive, real change isn’t going to happen. However, it is great to have people to help you along in that process and give you ideas! I’m just trying to say that the words of others isn’t what changes our attitude; it’s believing these words for ourselves and letting them transform our attitude from the inside out.

Sorry I went on a bit of a venting rampage. It’s been a really tough few days! Tomorrow I will write my first thankfulness entry and you can guarantee I will mean every word of it, not because I’m forcing fluffy positivity but because it’s one simple thing that I can hold onto to bring me the hope I need to get through one more day.   

Critical Thinking...

Critical thinking...

This term may be new for some of you, but for the most part I think everyone knows what it is. Up until a year ago I didn't. I did things because I had always done them that way. That was the way I was taught or that's how I saw other people do it. I'm not saying I didn't put a lot of thought into things, it just didn't go deeper than the surface. My father spent a lot of time trying to open me up to this concept but it's one of those things that unless it clicks for me, you're talking to a brick wall. I don't know why I work that way, not being able grasp the concept, as it were. It's the way I have always been but it's also one of the ways I'm trying to grow in. Being in a relationship, a deep committed relationship, has been quite an eye opener for me. Sam, as you can imagine, has invested so much into my life and although I could rant for pages about how amazing she is and how important she is to me, I'll try to stick with this one example :)

One aspect of critical thinking comes in the form of conversation. You can be friends with someone, you can be best friends with someone. You have people that know you well and you have acquaintances. You have family and friends in varying degrees of relationship and for many different reasons you can lose touch with people. It doesn't mean they aren't important to you, sometimes that's just the way life is. With all the people you know, how often do we talk about deep issues, intellectual things. One of my friends put a quote on Facebook the other day that said
 "Great minds discuss IDEAS. Average minds discuss EVENTS. Small minds discuss PEOPLE."
 How often do we get to the heart of issues with our friends or talk about meaningful things instead of gossip? Do you know the people in your life well enough to be comfortable enough conversing about some of those deep things? This is something I'm working towards. I'm a long way from being half way there but the process has been started. Sam and I talk about anything and everything, sometimes our conversation isn't very intelligent (mostly I'm to blame for that ;) but there is always substance to what we say in any given day. To be able to branch out and talk about the heart of the issues around us is an amazing thing. It helps me think beyond the surface of my relationships.

Another aspect of critical thinking Sam has opened me up to is spending habits. I'm not going to lie, I'm impulsive. I've always had enough money to pay the bills and food but I've never really sat down and come up with a spending plan... or should I say saving plan? Sam on the other hand has been a student for 6 years, plain and simple she can be frugal. Now I don't say that in a bad way because in this example opposites do attract. We balance each other out perfectly in this way but it's taken quite a bit of work to get there. I have changed my shopping habits a ton, that's not to say I don't have moments of... relapse, but that's where Sam comes in and helps me out! In the opposite scenario I try to give Sam logical (she responds really well to logic), thought out and practical reasons why it's okay to spend a little bit more money on something. I realize I am only explaining the perfect situation, it isn't always that easy but it's something we both work on.

That is the very short list of some of the critical aspects I have been working on. I couldn't do it without Sam though. She loves and respects me in so many different ways. That is one of the most amazing aspects of marriage, to have someone lovingly lift you up and help you grow in the areas you struggle in. Reflecting like this makes me miss her so much!

Support Our Troops

I've heard and seen the words "support our troops" in so many different contexts over the years but I've always struggled to understand how to translate this slogan into actual action. Until now.
It frustrates me that people throw those words out so flippantly without any concrete modes or ideas in fulfilling the very thing they are asking for. So many times I've asked myself, "what does it mean for me to support our troops? Does that mean I have to support our government's decisions in global political and military matters? Does that mean I need to enlist? How do these people expect me to support our troops?!" I've wondered these things often. Until now.
I'm not going to tell you how you should be supporting your troops because that's a decision that you need to make on your own based on your own philosophies, gifts, resources, connections and context. I just thought that with Josh being gone, now more than ever is a good time to dialogue about what it looks like to truly support our troops. Based on what I've realized and learned through our experience with the military, here are some practical ways I believe you can enact the meaning of "support our troops"

• Understand what it is they do! For most of you Josh and I are a great link into the world of everything military so feel free to ask and learn what exactly it is that he does! It's amazing how many people don't have the slightest clue what the military does beyond going over to Afghanistan and fighting the Taliban. I'm not going to lie, that was me four years ago! ...the not knowing part, not the fighting Taliban part. If you'd like to better support your troops, there's no better way to get started than to learn about what it is that they're doing. 
• Be a good friend to the people you know in the military. Be reliable and a listening ear to them especially because they really don't receive much of that at their workplace or perhaps amongst their coworkers. Stand by them through all the surprises and annoyances the military throws at them and just be constant in your friendship.
• For troops overseas, communicate with them! They can be experiencing some pretty intense isolation, culture shock, work stress, you name it! Just hearing from someone back home is so valuable and meaningful. I know especially for Josh he appreciates just knowing that he's in someone's thoughts even though he's far away and removed from his life back home. Even if you don't know anyone directly overseas, it's awesome to write someone no matter how random the connection is. Even your cousin's, girlfriend's, little brother will appreciate some words of encouragement from someone back home so don't ever underestimate the impact you can make!
• Support their family. Many people know how tough this tour has been for me but also how difficult it is in general to be married to someone who is literally owned by the military. We have been disappointed so many times that I have become extremely jaded by the military system and some days it takes all my effort to not be entirely bitter and angry towards Josh's "employers". ...the other days I just don't try and those are not happy days! I know it's also tough on his family, especially with the uncertain nature of pretty much everything (...you're going to Afghanistan in a few months. Can we tell you exactly when? Well no. Why? Well you don't need to know that. Oh and we have no clue when you're coming home. We'll give you this date range but just so you know it could be outside of that timeline). This is not the time or place for me to critique the system, this is just a snapshot of my interpretation, as flawed and limited as it may be. However, we need support from you as we also get tossed and turned around by the military system. For me sometimes I just need to have a good cry or a hug to make up for the 20+ I'm use to getting from Josh every day. Other times I just need to be distracted by people and just have a good time. Mostly though, I just need people to be real with me instead of trying to come up with the right thing to say or feeling responsible for making me feel better. Just be a good friend.
• Wear red on Fridays. It's just like wearing red and white on Canada Day except it's to show support for the troops through wearing your country's colors each Friday. I'm not going to lie, I don't really ever think of doing this but I think it's great when people make a point to!
• As simple or corny as it may sound, go out and get yourself one of those car magnets if you feel so inclined! I can't even express how it makes Josh and I feel when we pass by someone who has chosen to display one and just know that they have a desire to support us in Josh's career. Sure we'll never meet 99% of these people but it's just really cool to know that they're out there. Josh even made a comment one time when we went to Calgary that there were significantly less vehicles displaying Support Our Troops so it's clearly something that we notice! 
• When you see a soldier in uniform out in public, instead of looking at them and thinking "what are you doing out in those clothes?" why not just go up and thank them for the decision they've made to serve your country? Sure some of them could care less whether or not you did this but there have been so many that have put their life on the line to serve our country and global peace keeping efforts. Why wouldn't we be thankful for that? I know there is a whole lot of political and philosophical debate about whether what they're doing overseas is right or wrong but if you believe that something good is coming out of military efforts overseas, why not express thankfulness for that. I think this is an important point to bring to mind because I have seen so often in the States where people will go out of their way to approach a soldier in uniform, shake their hand and thank them for what they do. Yes there are difference in the militaries and even a sense of patriotism but I think it would be so great if we could show the same kind of appreciation for our troop, which goes above slapping on a magnet.

Well that's about all I've come up with from my short and limited experience. In sum, you don't have to join the army to show your support, don't underestimate the value of emails and facebook messages, and it would be awesome if you made a point of thanking your soldiers. These are just some of my suggestions because I think it's wrong for us to be surrounded by the concept of "support our troops" but not be provided with many practical means of doing so! Take and leave what you'd like but I hope you've found even a little something helpful in my ramble :)

-S

Good Ol' Country Music

One of my goals is to beat Sam in the amount of blogs I write while I'm overseas. Now, I'm not trying to beat her strictly on my competitive nature alone, I would say that's a pretty small part. Blogging is something I enjoy doing, the principle behind it (keeping friends and family informed of all the different things we do) is great. That being said I am not a very fast typer, in fact that is one of the biggest differences between Sam and I (Salmon'eye!!). Although I have gotten better over the last year or so, it's still something that doesn't come easily for me... well that and writing my jumble of thoughts down, I think people sometimes call it critical thinking... that is another blog all on its own though (that will be next week lol).
So lets recap, I like blogging, I'm not very good at it. That sums it up. So what do I do in order that I can
 1) enjoy blogging more
 2) "upgrade" my typing skills (if only I could buy a software upgrade for that!)
3) help create a system for my thoughts in order that typing them down in a coherent manner isn't so trying....

 the answer is turn it into a competition!

So although the end game isn't to beat Sam in the number of blogs I write, it will certainly keep my motivated enough to push through the things I don't enjoy about it. I have a feeling that Sam may end up pushing me to my limits now, it's a good thing she has been so busy!

Sam and I both enjoy music, you could even say love because we both appreciate what the joy of music can bring to a person. That being said, we both have a love/hate relationship with country music at this stage in our lives. If you haven't figured out why I'll explain. Growing up, Sam and I both listened to and enjoyed county music (maybe if I wasn't forced to listen to it for an hour and a half each day on the bus I wouldn't... but that's neither here nor there). Over the years I have heard many people bash the genre, my dog died, my wife left me, my boyfriend cheated, she broke my heart, I'm done with men it's now woman power, all men are chauvinistic... you name it, there is a long list of what country songs pertain. If country isn't one of your favorite genre's please bear with me, I'm almost done :) The point is country music is sad and sometimes down right depressing. I've never really thought about how sad it can be until I had something to be sad about though. It hasn't been until the last two weeks that almost every country song reminds me of Sam, how I miss her or the different memories we have made. But I love the music, so I continue to listen despite the negative effect it has on me because I truly believe I can turn that negative emotion into something positive. Yes it makes me miss her, but it also makes me so thankful for the memories we have made together. How priceless is being able to look back on years of love and growth together? Being away from Sam is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Leaving home after high school was hard but it was expected and you really don't have a choice in the matter. Venturing out on my own and becoming an adult... I've yet to figure that one out, was a fun stage in my life and I truly enjoyed it. Having to leave Sam is at times unbearable. One of the hardest parts about leaving her is not being able to help her with the struggles she goes through, just as she is not here to help me through mine! We write and talk often but there is still something about just being able to hold her that helps when words and advice cannot touch the pain. Writing this helps sort through my emotions, something I am definitely new at lol. Tying this back to country music, it reminds me of all the difficult times we have stood together side by side and were able to lean on each other, depend on each other when our own strength failed. That being said, this has been a great opportunity for us to deepen our relationship with God at an individual level. Sometimes we need that individual growth before we can bring our full potential to a team/marriage... we always call it our team :)

Even though we are apart, we look for the positive things and we grow as we can. I feel there is nothing more important then moving forward and continuing to learn in all things we do, something that I've always felt but something I didn't really understand until Sam showed me what that meant. What an amazing person I get to spend the rest of my life with!!

-J-

What's in a Birthday?

Today is my birthday.
Yet it's as normal as a day goes. Usually a birthday is a day for you to stand out and feel special but I have no desire what so ever for that. Maybe I don't feel the need just one special day because Josh makes sure that I feel special every day (as cheesy as that might sound, I swear it's on his daily list of things to do and he's really good at it!)

Rather than just having people celebrate the mark of another year coming up in my life, I'm going to briefly describe what I'm looking forward to in this next year and give recognition to the people who have been a part of getting me to this day. I'm keeping it simple because I could write an essay if I elaborated on each person. Hopefully you know who you are, and if not, well then I'll work on getting my individual appreciations around :)
Thanks for the birthday wishes and know that I'm sending them right back at you, not necessarily in birthday form but in appreciation and love!

I'm excited for:
- finally getting to have Josh around without anticipating being separated long term

- discovering what plans lie ahead for our career paths

- developing the business we started and learning more about leadership

- spending the next 5(ish) months with the Gilchrist family

- our trip to Portugal during Josh's two week break in September :)

- house buying and getting going on our dream of community living

I'm thankful for:
- my parents who brought me into this world and did a lot to help me survive my first 18 years. I'm thankful for the relationship I can now have with them as an adult

-my sisters who I spent many many years fighting with but now we can get along and actually enjoy each other! They're both amazing people and I'm so proud of them!

-  my Carstairs friends. I was just looking at pictures of us from high school and remembering how amazing you all made my teenage years. I am so thankful to still be in touch with you (even if it's sporadic) and know that you will always always be there for me when I need a hand or a laugh :)

- my Edmonton friends and former roommates who have enriched my life so greatly in the past few
years as we journey together into adulthood. I love being able to have serious, life questioning discussions but also a whole lot of fun and more adventures than I can even begin to count!

- the families of my friends. Thanks for opening up your homes and sharing your wonderful children with me! You have been influential in my life in more ways than you'll know and I have, and will continue to, look up to you as role models (even if it's examples of what not to do ;) )

- my church family. Wow. You are the epitome of community, which isn't always perfect but constantly striving to grow while remaining open, genuine and honest. You are my family away from home!

- the adults in my life who have taken time to mentor me, listen to me, counsel me, help me job search, or simply just bake me some cookies! Thanks for showing that you care about me. Even if it is in the simplest of ways it has an enormous and lasting impact

- the youth in my life who have allowed me to hang out with them, mentor them and attempt to share some of my experiences and limited knowledge with them. They keep me young and remind me to just have fun! I feel so honored to be part of your life and I love getting to hear what you're going through and attempting to help you out in whatever ways I can!

Separation of Team Salmon'eye

(For those of you who don't know Salmon'eye is our team name. I kind of came up with it after saying Sam and I so many times and it just made sense. When saying Salmon'eye you have close one eye really tight and kind of make an arrrrgg pirate face. Well that's what I do. Sam's Salmon'eye consists of closing one eye and keeping her mouth closed, but dropping the jaw. Her pirate face is a little milder then mine but just as effective)

Well, I'm here and it was quite a long journey. The last 4 days have been some of the longest in my life and I'm praying it gets easier. I won't be able to tell you many details on here about my job or the specifics of what I'm doing because it's quite open (although it is safe where I am :), however I will explain to you how I'm feeling and what I'm going through and some of the emotional and personal struggles I face. Because I'm not as articulate as Sam I won't be able to do my feelings justice but I am going to give it a shot.

I think of that scene on Con Air when Nicolas Cage just gets back from his tour and he comes into the bar and sees his wife. They dance to the song "How do I Live" by Trisha Yearwood (I know I'm a sap but I love that song) but I think it really describes the emotions that we go thorough being away from each other! Some would say being married a year isn't that long and that adjusting can't be that difficult and I would just remind those people that Sam and I have known each other for over 10 years and spent A LOT of time together. The last year being married has been absolutely amazing and its grown our initial relationship into something amazing, something I personally never thought to have in my life. It's hard to explain to someone how significant our relationship is, the way we invest and truly give into each others lives, like I said it's something I thought to never have in my life because of how amazing it is! It hasn't been one way growth either! Yes, Sam has helped me grow in many ways but so to has she grown not only individually but in our relationship as well. We thank God on a daily basis knowing that we were made to be together. I don't know if God made people to have a soul mate or whether there are multiple people out there for them, but the fact is, I couldn't imagine being with any one else for the rest of my life! The last year has had its ups and downs but we learn from everything. We are so open with each other in our feelings and thoughts and it has been the perfect start to our marriage. Not that it itself was perfect, we have a long way to go until we get there, but it has been perfect in the sense that we seek each others council and God's guidance in our lives. It has been a good year and although the next 6 months will be hard, it makes coming home that much more beautiful!

Sam has already explained the feelings she is going through and the emotional drain that has been. I can't explain it better then that because a lot of those feelings apply to me as well, however, there is another aspect I would bring to your attention that makes it just that much harder. I have never really been the one to be "left behind". Since last year I have been training and working and getting prepared for my task. That included traveling and spending time away from Sam. It was both a pro and a con. We got used to not depending exclusively on each other and as well did some dry runs on being away from each other. It sucked. I don't use that word lightly either. We went through some pretty hard times emotionally from being away from each other and although it was good for us to grow in different ways it was still really hard. Yet the fact remains, I'm leaving her. It's a feeling I don't understand and personally don't think I really ever could, unless she were to leave me! (Not in the literal sense). The strength she has shown in watching me leave her time and time again and for the longest time 5 days ago, is a strength I hope to come close to matching one day. I am so thankful I have someone so supportive and loyal to me, she is my strength and support.

That's enough of the emotional stuff for now. Some things I'm going to accomplish while I'm here are: 1) Fry an egg on a rock in the sun (ya it's that hot) 2) Get ripped 3) Work on my hand tan, because that is literally the only skin that sees the sun 4) Build trebuchets... yes I'm a nerd and my wife has taught me the love of crafting, so I brought my craft supplies 5) Break things with my mini trebuchets (that ones pretty obvious) 6) Read (which includes my Bible, devotional, novels, and whatever else I can get my hands on) 7) Have a ton of fun! I have an opportunity that most people don't so I'm going to make the most of it! 8) and an important one is keep in touch as best I can with my family and friends :)

So that's the start. I hope you enjoy the accounts of our separate journey. I hold faith knowing that we are never far from each others minds and thoughts. I think of my family and friends often and I think of Sam (on average) every ten minutes.

-J-

Remaining Thankful

Photo Compliments of The Wonderful Erin & Jordan Camponi

I think it goes without saying but today is a hard day.
Leading up to this day has certainly had its challenges, which have pinacled in the short moments Josh and I had to say good bye to each other for the next six months. It is one of those experiences that you can never fully prepare yourself for because it's so unknown and there are so many variable factors that looking forward to the future usually concludes with a giant question mark of uncertainty. It surprised us that the past week has been the most challenging of all. Just knowing that our days were limited made us wish that today would just come already so we can go ahead and deal with it instead of trying to enjoy every moment together while attempting to ignore the inevitable. Today has come now and it was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be but I guess that makes sense when it seems like we've had weeks and weeks...and weeks...of anticipation. Even though it's easIER, doesn't mean it's pleasant; I'm pretty sure I was imagining the worst case scenario where I would come next to death having to say good bye to Josh (yes, that's an exaggeration but there was nowhere to go but up from that idea!)
I'm not going to sugar coat the way I feel because it just down right sucks. I don't like being away from my best friend, my companion, my fun buddy, my partner in crime (the list goes on and on...) and I especially don't like not knowing when I'll get him back for good or what our communication is going to be like in the interim. To add to that, this has got to be one of the most ridiculous/saddest first year anniversaries ever! However, even though there are so many challenges, I can genuinely be thankful for so many things surrounding us at this time.
I'm thankful for the amazing friends and family that we have who have lifted us up and supported us immensely in the time leading up to this day and who I know will continue to encourage us and strengthen us throughout the rest of this year. We have always been hugely thankful for the people in our lives but this scenario enables us to see another essential element of why family and community is important and valuable in our lives. We feel richly and deeply blessed by the help and support that is voluntarily extended from the people in our lives and the quick responses when we approach them with any request. We could not ask for better people in our lives, and as sappy/cliche as that may sound, we mean that wholeheartedly!
I am thankful for the first year of marriage Josh and I were able to share together prior to his deployment. Our engagement and wedding may have seemed a bit rushed to some but we were certain it was the commitment we wanted to make and felt it was wisest to do with sufficient time before Josh would be leaving for Afghanistan. Our first year was full of interesting challenges both personally as individuals and together as a couple but looking back we are so grateful and proud of the distance we've journeyed together. We have always been thankful for the conflicts and uncomfortable situations that arise (...after the fact!) because they bring us so much farther along and closer together. It has been a great first year, definitely full of it's fair share of challenges and "learning opportunities" but certainly defined by growth, laughter and just out and out fun.
I am thankful for the opportunity Josh has to go overseas and serve our country. This is something Josh has looked forward to and worked towards for quite some time and I celebrate alongside him that the day has finally come when he can fulfill this dream. It isn't easy to be thankful for this when I'd much rather have him here, especially knowing that the people who do get to spend the next 6 months with Josh won't value him or treat him nearly as well as I do! However, Josh and I are a team (in fact, we're team Salmon Eye...maybe we'll share more about that at another point in time) and that means I am genuinely excited for something simply because the rest of my team is. I am a dreamer and it's so important to me that people live out the dreams they've set out for themselves so it brings me great joy to see Josh living out his dream that we've all known about since his teenage years. I want to be selfish and just want to keep him to myself and ask him to just throw away his dream but at the same time I'm choosing to be the team member Josh needs to help make this dream happen!
I am so so so thankful for the amazing family that has taken me in for the next six months while Josh is gone. We have been staying with the Gilchrists for this past week and Josh is definitely jealous he has to leave and I get to stay with them :) They have been so generous to us, opening up their home to us and making us feel like part of the family. Josh has ever confidence that I will be well taken care of while he's gone, which is comforting and assuring for him especially when he can't be there for me when he's half way around the world. I'm thankful for the adorable little girls I get to play with and see grow over the next six months...even if their parents think that one seems to like to spend a little too much time playing in my room :) I look forward to serving them and being a blessing to them in hopes that I can reciprocate the enormous favor the have done for Josh and I.
I'm excited for the next six months of new challenges and growth! We honestly have no idea what the rest of this year will hold but we're going to seize every opportunity to grow in our own personal development, in our relationship, and in our faith. There really is no better time for growth than in the hardships and challenges so our attitude is, BRING IT ON! ...please note there may be moments where someone will receive a call from a sobbing Sam who really wants it to be over already but this is the overarching attitude that's going to be driving us forward through those downer moments and bring us out on the other side full of new experiences, new growth and a whole lot of joy!
Finally, I am thankful for our faith, which unites us and give us hope. In tough times we rely on our faith and our church/faith community to support us and keep us focused through until the end. I'm so thankful for the many second families I feel that have adopted us with open arms and the unconditional love they give us as our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are truly blessed!
And with that, I anticipate being thankful for a restful sleep and a start at a new day that will bring me one day closer to Josh coming home. Thanks for taking the time to read this :)

The Busyness Cycle

I'm realizing it has been far too long since our last blog post! I guess that's what happens when the schedule fills up and blogging gets left by the way side. The blog is not the only thing that has been neglected over the past few months; our busy schedule has made it difficult to stay connected with our many friends all over the province. This situation has led me to reflect on the cycle of busyness we get trapped in from time to time.
Often times busyness is a choice. I chose my job, the tutoring I do after working hours, my involvements with the church, the assortment of seemingly important appointments, and the many many plans I make with friends that fill up the in-between moments. Once you get busy, you're required to perpetuate the cycle  because all subsequent things you want to do get scheduled into the future days and weeks that you are not already busy. Whenever we want to get together with someone or plan something, it needs to be somewhat in advanced because our busy schedule hinders the ability to do those things in the spur of the moment.
My opinion on our state of busyness is mixed. On one hand, it is motivating and allows us to be productive and feel like we're getting the most out of our days. However, when we come home at the end of the night, we basically collapse into bed because we're both so worn out from work and a full evening of activities. Is this how we want to live? Stretching ourselves to the point where we have virtually no time left over and pushed to exhaustion at the end of each day? At the same time it can be very fulfilling because we have so many friends and so many things to get done, so why not schedule all these things one right after the other and completely them most productively? Especially with Josh's pending deployment we feel a huge need to stay focused on getting everything done and all our visiting in before he leaves. We have definitely enjoyed this time, especially all the visiting, but looking forward to another month booked full, it's already exhausting!
What then is the solution to busyness?
I guess similar to most solutions in a post-modern era, it's all about balance! A little while ago I had a conversation with a friend about the need for a Sabbath, a weekly break from work, which is a perfect example of how to pursue this balance. Josh and I are fairly flexible when it comes to applying the idea of Sabbath. In religious tradition there have been those who take a break from all things on the Sabbath almost to the point where it becomes more work to prepare and live out the Sabbath. I completely respect people who do this and I believe it shows a deep commitment to their faith and convictions. For me, the need isn't to take a break from physical work and activity but rather, I absolutely need a mental Sabbath especially amidst our busy weeks. When my friend first explained to me the concept of a mental Sabbath, I honestly couldn't envision how that would be possible when I seem to have a hundred things on my mind at any given point in time. Vegging in front of the tv provides somewhat of a break from mental business but it's not necessarily the most healthy or positive way to achieve this. Instead of distracting our brains with something mindless, a mental break is the practice of taking a break from the constant thoughts of planning, preparing, anticipating and reflecting on how to make everything better. It's about enjoying the moment and staying focused in that moment, which sounds simple but is something that many of us actually need to work at!
Mental Sabbaths are important in achieving mental balance in our state of busyness so it's also important to apply the practice of just taking a break! Josh and I try to do this by setting aside an afternoon or evening just for us. Yah, sometimes we end up just watching tv or movies, but it's important to have that time to just be and do whatever you want to without any agendas, schedules or timelines! We do get a lot out of these lazy days, even if it's just getting charged up to head into another five busy days in a row.
In conclusion, if you've felt that you haven't seen us or heard from us in ages, your not alone! We are battling a cycle of busyness, which seeks to consume us and yet exists purely because of our choices that sustain i! While we work on getting it together, we apologize for the periods where it seems we have completely fallen off the earth. We're still here, we'll just have to schedule an appointment with you in order to remedy that; we're now booking into June....just kidding...but seriously...
In the mean time, if you have any ideas, solutions or thoughts on this topic, feel free to share! Hopefully we'll be able to respond to you within a month or so :S

Life Update

The purpose of this post is mostly business. We just want to provide an opportunity for everyone to get caught up on what's going on in our lives right now. Of course, if you not interest then you are not obliged to read on but if you do have any questions about what these two Stauffers have been up to, then here's the place to find out!

Firstly, we still do not have concrete dates for when Josh will be going overseas but we do know he'll be over there for around 6 monhts. For those of you who may be completely uninformed on the matter, Josh is scheduled to serve for 6 months in Afghanistan with the Canadian Armed Forces. He is a Signals Operator so that means he'll be doing lots of communication, computer and radio work while he's there.  The Canadian combat mission is officially over as of the beginning of this new year, however they need forces to go over to serve in cleaning up and clearing out. This is what Josh will be helping out with, which, from my understanding, sounds like a fairly safe and straight-forward job. However, there are still risks involved and we never know what could come up while he's there. In the next few months we'll be making up some photo cards to send out to our friends and family so that you can keep us in your thoughts and prayers while Josh is overseas. If this is something you would definitely like to receive, just let us know and we'd love to send you one!

Now, as of less than 24 hours ago there's been an update in my life! I am officially hired to be a Science Educator at The TELUS World of Science in Edmonton. This means I'll be teaching classes of students from K-9 a variety of science topics using all the awesome equipment and material available at the Science Centre. I'm really excited to start working a consistent job! I have absolutely loved babysitting for the past few months and I'm thankful to have been given the opportunity to work for some amazing families and stay well occupied during the days. Because this is a part time job, I'll still have the opportunity to tutor my two wonderful students, which keeps me busy for another hour four days out of the week. And, I have to say that our bank account is quite happy that we'll be functioning with a dual income...gooooood bye student loan! ...eventually

Outside of those two main updates, Josh and have been staying quite busy this past while! We have been so thankful to get lots of time to spend with family and friends and have enjoyed quite a few visitors in our home over the past few months, Even though we've been busy, we've been extremely happy and greatly enjoying this first year of marriage. Just to clarify, this doesn't mean it's always ideal or easy because we've certainly had ample opportunities to apply and grow our skills in conflict resolution! Marriage is a rollercoaster but we're enjoying one that is on a less extreme end of spectrum, which is enough to make is substantial through providing lots of happy and enjoyable moments as well as many opportunities to learn more about each other and how we can better work together. Go Team Stauffer! One of the greatest challenges that we're facing at this time is just knowing what to do leading up to Josh's deployment and how to prepare for what's going to happen while we're apart. It's one of those things that you can't entirely prepare for before hand, which absolutely drives me nuts! Thankfully Josh is my polar opposite in this area and helps chill me out when the uncertainties and lack of planning start getting me worked up. It will certainly be a learning experience for us but our prayer is that we come out of this experience with strength, assurance and a deeper appreciation for the time we have with friends and family.
 Know that if you're ever in Edmonton, the Stauffer Bed and Breakfast is always open and we love to practice our hosting skills :)

A Stomach With The Attitude of a 2 Year Old

This post is not intended to cultivate sympathy or anything of the like, but the truth is, I've been sick for several days straight and am running of creative ways to engage my mind while I am incapacitated. I've caught this super strain of a cold/flu (this is my own diagnosis) that has gone through basically all the symptoms possible. During the many hours of my life I have spent in medicenters, I often found myself turning towards those "Flu and Cold Season Self-Diagnosis" charts as reading material to occupy the long wait. If I happened to have any of the symptoms at the time, I would take comfort knowing that there were still some undesirable symptoms I thankfully wasn't having to deal with at that time. This week has not been the case because I've blown through that whole chart and every day it's a new discovery as to what's going to get better, and what new troubles are creeping up.
Because it's day three of the stomach flu portion of this super-strain, I've been learning the boundaries between making my stomach feel better, and unexpectantly causing it to violently revolt. Through this learning process, I have discovered that the stomach flu must be dealt with in a very similar manner as one uses while dealing with a 2 year old.

It wakes you up early and insists that it's time for breakfast, perhaps well before you would have preferred to wake up. You prepare a breakfast that has always been enjoyed and compatible with your stomach but as soon as you try to eat, it seems that your stomach starts screaming at you as if it's the most  ridiculous idea that you're trying to feed it. You're confused because there were clear signs it was hungry and the time of day means it's probably in need of some nourishment. Despite this logic, it is clearly unwilling to eat. However, 20 minutes later it's demanding the need for a snack, maybe even a little treat. It doesn't make sense because very recently this was not the case and you wonder what changed so much in those short 20 minutes. Instead of going for something practical or nutritional, you maybe give it something you know for sure it loves just to keep down the number of revolts you have to deal with within an hour. Snap peas are healthy enough and seem like a good choice right?
Wrong.
1 hour later there is yet another revolt, almost as it it's kicking and punching, screaming "Why did you feed me those snap peas?!" And there go the snap peas.
This leaves you feeling very confused because you know it's hungry and yet it's unwilling to take the food you thoughtfully offer. Maybe if you just give it some down time things will come around and you'll get somewhere. Hours may go by and you are hesitant to give into its every whim because you are quite aware of the fact that it just doesn't know itself and its own needs right now.
Things settle down and you think you're on the right track so you go in for another attempt. We'll take it easy this time and stick with something really familiar. Apple sauce. Yeah, that should be just fine! And it works. You're elated by the success and the progress you have made. You play it safe for the next little while, maybe just trying out some soda crackers and a bit of yogurt. This is good!
But then your success carries you away and you try something a bit more ambitious. It's been days since you've had a little indulgence so why not take a handful of those chips that have been sitting on the counter? At first there is cooperation and you think you've finally figured out the dynamics but then, BOOM! Your stomach returns to that disagreeable and strong willed state, seemingly deflating all of the work and patience you built into the last 6 hours!

For the record, I love 2 year olds. I just happen to think that they can be unpredictable and defiant, which can leave you feeling confused and exasperated but with the knowledge that they really don't know what they want, let alone what they need! And right now, I feel like I'm dealing with a stomach that has the patience and attitude of a 2 year old but, with time, I'm sure we'll both make it through this stage.

If you read this and think I'm completely out of my mind, just consider that you might be too if you had been in bed sick for far too many days in a row! Also, Josh has been out in Kingston this week for a training exercise so I've been lacking company and, evidently, becoming a little stir crazy!

Josh's First Blog

Just a note: Sam picked this photo for the entry because it somewhat captures Josh's expression towards blogging; a combination of

excitement/anticipation mingled with "I really don't know what I'm doing here". 

The photo is from when we went suit shopping for Kelsey & Jesse's wedding.

Well, the long anticipated Josh start is now upon you… don’t get to excited though, this isn’t necessarily “my thing”. What I mean is, ya this is going to be fun, buuuuuut this is so much more Sam’s forte that her awesome vocabulary and writing skills will very much overshadow anything I could bring to bear. Be that as it may, I have to try ;)

So, after some thoughtful reflection (I will expand on that later) I decided what my first topic for blogging would be… marriage. For all the un-married people out there don’t stop reading just yet, this is going to be packed with lots of funny stories, “adjustments” (as it were), and of course reasons why marriage isn’t always so… shall we say fun… Sam just told me I should add that its mostly fun and almost never not fun, not that I meant for it to seem like it was mostly not fun… I would say a 96 fun to 4 not fun. Anyway, lots to share and I promise you’ll enjoy parts if not all of it!

This has taken me a long time to write out. I explained to Sam that I really wanted to do this blog with her; I also informed her that just because my enthusiasm was high did not necessarily mean there would be a high turnout of posts. Writing for me is a “have to be in the mood for” kind of thing, whereas for Sam, it’s very much different. I have literally sat and watched her write up a full post in less than 15 minutes… now I think it’s a combination of amazing typing skills (and man do they fly) and very coherent thought. She does a lot of reflecting and organizing in her mind, enabling her to write a blog in her head and then essentially just putting it down in writing. What I’m trying to say is Sam intimidates me. I mean, ya she has 5 years of post-secondary on me and has developed some amazing skills but man oh man is she good! Okay okay okay, I’m seriously going to blog instead of ramble.

Two words, conflict resolution. Conflict resolution with co-workers, friends and family did not prepare me for the marriage side of the house. Living intimately with someone really brings out the nitty gritty in every aspect of your relationship, regardless of how prepared you think you are. I've been there. Sam and I together make an especially interesting combination. Sam is a woman; she is sensitive and more easily hurt them I am. Don’t get me wrong, I love how sensitive Sam is, she helps me be a more considerate and compassionate person but it can also have negative connotations. I, being a man can be less sensitive, not necessarily on purpose, it just kind of …happens. I think the reason it happens isn’t really that complicated, I’m flawed. I get lazy, I forget things and in doing that it hurts her. Learning to live with someone, no matter how long you have known them or how well you know them, is really hard. It’s an adjustment, one that is very challenging but so worth it! The things we can turn into really big deals and get upset about sometimes amazes me when I step back and take a look at it. We live and we learn!

Sliver Pie. Sam has talked about this in an earlier blog but to really understand how it works I think you need to see it from my perspective, the sliver. Who likes pie? Everyone. Who would like only a tiny small sliver of said pie? Ya that’s what I thought. Everyone likes pie and a good healthy portion at that (maybe I shouldn’t have used the word healthy lol). If we transfer this idea to our bed hopefully you can get the picture. Sam has almost quite literally the whole bed. She needs that much room in order to get a good sleep and I have to be honest with you, most of the time it isn’t a huge sacrifice for me to have the sliver. I’m one of those guys that when my head hits the pillow I could count down from 5 and pass out. That and I don’t mind sleeping with only my body width of space. However, there have been some nights were, as soon as I roll away from Sam onto the side of my body facing the wall, she stretches out even farther! So I don’t even have my body width in which to claim bed space with, and then I am quite stuck. Why don’t I just push her over a little bit you say? Well, the thing is Sam doesn’t really sleep very well, it takes her a long time to sleep and if she wakes up in the middle of the night it takes that much longer just to fall back asleep. So most of the time I just suck it up, that’s part of marriage, you give a lot and you get a lot back!

So that’s my kick off, I know it’s not super long but there will be more to add as the days go by. There is so much in our lives we look forward to sharing with everyone and this is a very easy way to do it!

-J-

A Special Moment Shopping

Photo from http://farm1.static.flickr.com/124/346644059_ebd4c277e2.jpg 

Today I had a few "special" moments while I was shopping at the grocery store. First of all, we have been deprived of specific food items for the past two weeks because I was holding out until today to buy them on cheap Tuesday (you get to save 15% off your whole purchase!). I pulled into the grocery store about 45 minutes before I had to leave to tutor and I thought that was more than enough time to get all my purchases taken care of. Easy enough right? 

About 40 minutes later I had a cart entirely stocked full of everything from whole wheat egg noodles to organic body wash. At this point I realized I needed to head for the check out and get on my way. Now, I don't know why, but at some Save On More stores they only have those extremely short tills, the kind you see in the express line. My cashier was friendly and really great but it still took about 10 minutes just to load and check out all my stuff. Unfortunately I was already running a bit behind schedule so I piled my bags in the cart until they were literally heaping over to the point where I was pushing the cart with one hand, steering with my hip and using the other hand to secure one of my heaviest bags and a 11 lb sack of onions. It was quite the sight! 

I scuttling across the parking lot as fast as I can manage and instantly regret parking as far away as I did. I'm thankful that the parking lot has been plowed and, in combination with the days it broke above 0 degrees, the lot was mostly clear. That was what I thought at least until I tried to maneuver my rickety cart over the lumps and bumps of solid ice. Now, I might add that this cart already has it's fair share of quarks and troubles; you know, one of those that seems to bank to the right without cause and frequently one wheel stalls all together for no apparent reason. Now imagine taking that from slushy pavement onto gravelly mounds of ice that range from all shapes and heights. It was not a pretty sigh. In a few moments my cart began to wobble and, despite my best attempts, it toppled over with a bang. On it's way down, I desperately attempted to counter the fall so once the cart hit the ground, my feet were slipping back and forth on the icy ground until I too came down with a crash....slide....crash some more....slide some more. It was one of the moments in life when time seems to stand still and you awareness is heightened to every movement going on around you. It seemed that my actions would have appeared the same as what a cartoon slipping on a banana peel looks like. Yah, real classy. As I laid on the dirty, cold ground, helpless sprawled up on my stomach, I looked to my side and sighed at the sight of my $300 worth of groceries strewn across the parking lot. Until this point, I didn't even think it was possible for a cart to just fall over like that. It's a good thing this isn't a common experience because it was completely impossible for me to get it right side up again on my own. Thankfully after a few minutes of me struggling, someone came over and helped me lift it up. I was surprised it took this long because it was just such a sad sight seeing me tugging and pulling, with no avail, at the lifeless cart accompanied by rolling onions and strewn cereal. 

I finally get my stuff into the car and viciously roll the, now empty, cart back to its chain. I'm not sad to see it go. Once I get into the car and take a look at the receipt, I realize it wasn't even 15% Tuesday, which disappointed me because my whole cart ordeal had seemed worth it because it saved me almost $30! Turns out it was just another day and I had stocked up like it was Y2K. I look at my watch and it's five minutes after when I'm suppose to be tutoring and I still have a 20 minute drive ahead of me. 

Looking back now I can laugh at the situation but it definitely wasn't funny to me then, in fact, I was quite frazzled and upset. Thankfully Josh was home from work and was able to remind me that spilling the groceries and not saving that 15% wasn't a big deal or worth being upset over. At least I can say I've now learned a few lessons: check and double check when the first Tuesday or the month is, and don't attempt to take a full cart onto icy roads alone because it will never end well! 

-S