Separation of Team Salmon'eye

(For those of you who don't know Salmon'eye is our team name. I kind of came up with it after saying Sam and I so many times and it just made sense. When saying Salmon'eye you have close one eye really tight and kind of make an arrrrgg pirate face. Well that's what I do. Sam's Salmon'eye consists of closing one eye and keeping her mouth closed, but dropping the jaw. Her pirate face is a little milder then mine but just as effective)

Well, I'm here and it was quite a long journey. The last 4 days have been some of the longest in my life and I'm praying it gets easier. I won't be able to tell you many details on here about my job or the specifics of what I'm doing because it's quite open (although it is safe where I am :), however I will explain to you how I'm feeling and what I'm going through and some of the emotional and personal struggles I face. Because I'm not as articulate as Sam I won't be able to do my feelings justice but I am going to give it a shot.

I think of that scene on Con Air when Nicolas Cage just gets back from his tour and he comes into the bar and sees his wife. They dance to the song "How do I Live" by Trisha Yearwood (I know I'm a sap but I love that song) but I think it really describes the emotions that we go thorough being away from each other! Some would say being married a year isn't that long and that adjusting can't be that difficult and I would just remind those people that Sam and I have known each other for over 10 years and spent A LOT of time together. The last year being married has been absolutely amazing and its grown our initial relationship into something amazing, something I personally never thought to have in my life. It's hard to explain to someone how significant our relationship is, the way we invest and truly give into each others lives, like I said it's something I thought to never have in my life because of how amazing it is! It hasn't been one way growth either! Yes, Sam has helped me grow in many ways but so to has she grown not only individually but in our relationship as well. We thank God on a daily basis knowing that we were made to be together. I don't know if God made people to have a soul mate or whether there are multiple people out there for them, but the fact is, I couldn't imagine being with any one else for the rest of my life! The last year has had its ups and downs but we learn from everything. We are so open with each other in our feelings and thoughts and it has been the perfect start to our marriage. Not that it itself was perfect, we have a long way to go until we get there, but it has been perfect in the sense that we seek each others council and God's guidance in our lives. It has been a good year and although the next 6 months will be hard, it makes coming home that much more beautiful!

Sam has already explained the feelings she is going through and the emotional drain that has been. I can't explain it better then that because a lot of those feelings apply to me as well, however, there is another aspect I would bring to your attention that makes it just that much harder. I have never really been the one to be "left behind". Since last year I have been training and working and getting prepared for my task. That included traveling and spending time away from Sam. It was both a pro and a con. We got used to not depending exclusively on each other and as well did some dry runs on being away from each other. It sucked. I don't use that word lightly either. We went through some pretty hard times emotionally from being away from each other and although it was good for us to grow in different ways it was still really hard. Yet the fact remains, I'm leaving her. It's a feeling I don't understand and personally don't think I really ever could, unless she were to leave me! (Not in the literal sense). The strength she has shown in watching me leave her time and time again and for the longest time 5 days ago, is a strength I hope to come close to matching one day. I am so thankful I have someone so supportive and loyal to me, she is my strength and support.

That's enough of the emotional stuff for now. Some things I'm going to accomplish while I'm here are: 1) Fry an egg on a rock in the sun (ya it's that hot) 2) Get ripped 3) Work on my hand tan, because that is literally the only skin that sees the sun 4) Build trebuchets... yes I'm a nerd and my wife has taught me the love of crafting, so I brought my craft supplies 5) Break things with my mini trebuchets (that ones pretty obvious) 6) Read (which includes my Bible, devotional, novels, and whatever else I can get my hands on) 7) Have a ton of fun! I have an opportunity that most people don't so I'm going to make the most of it! 8) and an important one is keep in touch as best I can with my family and friends :)

So that's the start. I hope you enjoy the accounts of our separate journey. I hold faith knowing that we are never far from each others minds and thoughts. I think of my family and friends often and I think of Sam (on average) every ten minutes.

-J-