Remaining Thankful

Photo Compliments of The Wonderful Erin & Jordan Camponi

I think it goes without saying but today is a hard day.
Leading up to this day has certainly had its challenges, which have pinacled in the short moments Josh and I had to say good bye to each other for the next six months. It is one of those experiences that you can never fully prepare yourself for because it's so unknown and there are so many variable factors that looking forward to the future usually concludes with a giant question mark of uncertainty. It surprised us that the past week has been the most challenging of all. Just knowing that our days were limited made us wish that today would just come already so we can go ahead and deal with it instead of trying to enjoy every moment together while attempting to ignore the inevitable. Today has come now and it was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be but I guess that makes sense when it seems like we've had weeks and weeks...and weeks...of anticipation. Even though it's easIER, doesn't mean it's pleasant; I'm pretty sure I was imagining the worst case scenario where I would come next to death having to say good bye to Josh (yes, that's an exaggeration but there was nowhere to go but up from that idea!)
I'm not going to sugar coat the way I feel because it just down right sucks. I don't like being away from my best friend, my companion, my fun buddy, my partner in crime (the list goes on and on...) and I especially don't like not knowing when I'll get him back for good or what our communication is going to be like in the interim. To add to that, this has got to be one of the most ridiculous/saddest first year anniversaries ever! However, even though there are so many challenges, I can genuinely be thankful for so many things surrounding us at this time.
I'm thankful for the amazing friends and family that we have who have lifted us up and supported us immensely in the time leading up to this day and who I know will continue to encourage us and strengthen us throughout the rest of this year. We have always been hugely thankful for the people in our lives but this scenario enables us to see another essential element of why family and community is important and valuable in our lives. We feel richly and deeply blessed by the help and support that is voluntarily extended from the people in our lives and the quick responses when we approach them with any request. We could not ask for better people in our lives, and as sappy/cliche as that may sound, we mean that wholeheartedly!
I am thankful for the first year of marriage Josh and I were able to share together prior to his deployment. Our engagement and wedding may have seemed a bit rushed to some but we were certain it was the commitment we wanted to make and felt it was wisest to do with sufficient time before Josh would be leaving for Afghanistan. Our first year was full of interesting challenges both personally as individuals and together as a couple but looking back we are so grateful and proud of the distance we've journeyed together. We have always been thankful for the conflicts and uncomfortable situations that arise (...after the fact!) because they bring us so much farther along and closer together. It has been a great first year, definitely full of it's fair share of challenges and "learning opportunities" but certainly defined by growth, laughter and just out and out fun.
I am thankful for the opportunity Josh has to go overseas and serve our country. This is something Josh has looked forward to and worked towards for quite some time and I celebrate alongside him that the day has finally come when he can fulfill this dream. It isn't easy to be thankful for this when I'd much rather have him here, especially knowing that the people who do get to spend the next 6 months with Josh won't value him or treat him nearly as well as I do! However, Josh and I are a team (in fact, we're team Salmon Eye...maybe we'll share more about that at another point in time) and that means I am genuinely excited for something simply because the rest of my team is. I am a dreamer and it's so important to me that people live out the dreams they've set out for themselves so it brings me great joy to see Josh living out his dream that we've all known about since his teenage years. I want to be selfish and just want to keep him to myself and ask him to just throw away his dream but at the same time I'm choosing to be the team member Josh needs to help make this dream happen!
I am so so so thankful for the amazing family that has taken me in for the next six months while Josh is gone. We have been staying with the Gilchrists for this past week and Josh is definitely jealous he has to leave and I get to stay with them :) They have been so generous to us, opening up their home to us and making us feel like part of the family. Josh has ever confidence that I will be well taken care of while he's gone, which is comforting and assuring for him especially when he can't be there for me when he's half way around the world. I'm thankful for the adorable little girls I get to play with and see grow over the next six months...even if their parents think that one seems to like to spend a little too much time playing in my room :) I look forward to serving them and being a blessing to them in hopes that I can reciprocate the enormous favor the have done for Josh and I.
I'm excited for the next six months of new challenges and growth! We honestly have no idea what the rest of this year will hold but we're going to seize every opportunity to grow in our own personal development, in our relationship, and in our faith. There really is no better time for growth than in the hardships and challenges so our attitude is, BRING IT ON! ...please note there may be moments where someone will receive a call from a sobbing Sam who really wants it to be over already but this is the overarching attitude that's going to be driving us forward through those downer moments and bring us out on the other side full of new experiences, new growth and a whole lot of joy!
Finally, I am thankful for our faith, which unites us and give us hope. In tough times we rely on our faith and our church/faith community to support us and keep us focused through until the end. I'm so thankful for the many second families I feel that have adopted us with open arms and the unconditional love they give us as our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are truly blessed!
And with that, I anticipate being thankful for a restful sleep and a start at a new day that will bring me one day closer to Josh coming home. Thanks for taking the time to read this :)