Critical thinking...
This term may be new for some of you, but for the most part I think everyone knows what it is. Up until a year ago I didn't. I did things because I had always done them that way. That was the way I was taught or that's how I saw other people do it. I'm not saying I didn't put a lot of thought into things, it just didn't go deeper than the surface. My father spent a lot of time trying to open me up to this concept but it's one of those things that unless it clicks for me, you're talking to a brick wall. I don't know why I work that way, not being able grasp the concept, as it were. It's the way I have always been but it's also one of the ways I'm trying to grow in. Being in a relationship, a deep committed relationship, has been quite an eye opener for me. Sam, as you can imagine, has invested so much into my life and although I could rant for pages about how amazing she is and how important she is to me, I'll try to stick with this one example :)
One aspect of critical thinking comes in the form of conversation. You can be friends with someone, you can be best friends with someone. You have people that know you well and you have acquaintances. You have family and friends in varying degrees of relationship and for many different reasons you can lose touch with people. It doesn't mean they aren't important to you, sometimes that's just the way life is. With all the people you know, how often do we talk about deep issues, intellectual things. One of my friends put a quote on Facebook the other day that said
"
Great minds discuss IDEAS. Average minds discuss EVENTS. Small minds discuss PEOPLE."
How often do we get to the heart of issues with our friends or talk about meaningful things instead of gossip? Do you know the people in your life well enough to be comfortable enough conversing about some of those deep things? This is something I'm working towards. I'm a long way from being half way there but the process has been started. Sam and I talk about anything and everything, sometimes our conversation isn't very intelligent (mostly I'm to blame for that ;) but there is always substance to what we say in any given day. To be able to branch out and talk about the heart of the issues around us is an amazing thing. It helps me think beyond the surface of my relationships.
Another aspect of critical thinking Sam has opened me up to is spending habits. I'm not going to lie, I'm impulsive. I've always had enough money to pay the bills and food but I've never really sat down and come up with a spending plan... or should I say saving plan? Sam on the other hand has been a student for 6 years, plain and simple she can be frugal. Now I don't say that in a bad way because in this example opposites do attract. We balance each other out perfectly in this way but it's taken quite a bit of work to get there. I have changed my shopping habits a ton, that's not to say I don't have moments of... relapse, but that's where Sam comes in and helps me out! In the opposite scenario I try to give Sam logical (she responds really well to logic), thought out and practical reasons why it's okay to spend a little bit more money on something. I realize I am only explaining the perfect situation, it isn't always that easy but it's something we both work on.
That is the very short list of some of the critical aspects I have been working on. I couldn't do it without Sam though. She loves and respects me in so many different ways. That is one of the most amazing aspects of marriage, to have someone lovingly lift you up and help you grow in the areas you struggle in. Reflecting like this makes me miss her so much!
Josh buddy, I really admire how grounded and level headed you are man. You have inspired me a few times, that I can think of to try to take that step back and reflect.
ReplyDeleteI know we don't get many opportunities to chat or hang out, so lets not talk about people when we do hang out! lol
I also really love that quote, you're going to have to tell me who said that! I want to use that as a Quote of the Day sometime!
Josh you're so true about how people interact and how most of us really don't necessarily think about what we share with the important people in our lives. I love that you have Sam in your life and that you balance each other, so happy for you!
ReplyDeleteI hope you do well with growing and always remember to challenge yourself and each other (in good ways of course).
Keep safe & come home soon!
Three cheers for that critical thinking, it rocks!
ReplyDeleteIt's one of those things I've given a lot of thought recently, and how it relates to our education system, and to how we were raised as kids. I honestly believe that, instead of being able to rattle off all of Canada's former prime ministers, list the Table of Elements plus charges (though that IS awesome, let's be honest here), or, as in my case, be able to draw a to-scale map of Germany with geographical features, elementary and secondary students should be taught critical thinking in equal or greater measure. It was only in University that I started to learn how to take situations as a whole, and not rely only on my skewed perceptions, in order to make judgements about them, or the people in them. We, and our kids, ought not to be denied the right to learn to think critically, to take experiences and learn from them and re-apply them differently, rather than just stagnating in a pattern when we don't know better, because that certainly hasn't helped the previous generations much (Occupy Wall Street, anyone?). Facts certainly have their merits, but they can be learned at any age, really. It's much harder to change one's ways once one is entrenched in a thought pattern. Being able to think critically is what allows us to recognize non-optimal world-views, and tweak them, or even break them entirely and start fresh.
I don't think at all that you, or anyone else, is less able to think critically, Joshyguy. It's a muscle, or a skill, like any other. It just needs to be exercised, and look how awesome you're doing at that.
On a related, critically-thought-out note (see what I did there?!), I have a teensy-to-slighty-large issue with the quote above. While I agree with the general sentiment, I tend to think that quote is somewhat fraught with misogynistic tendencies (not necessarily on purpose, let's be clear here! I just think the originator of it didn't quite think through all the implications...).
You see, discussing people is how women FUNCTION. Not gossip, which is what I'd like to think that quote is meant to discourage; not belittling others, or making their life-stories worth less. But talking about people BONDS women. Women are inherently more community-based than men; we need other people, and especially other women, in our lives. We need to build communities and networks and families, we need to be part of a greater organism (men are raised (it's not necessarily inherent) to achieve and maintain status. It's why everything can become a contest with men ;)). It's why we're the nurturers, why we crave support, and closeness. Talking about others gives us that. When we discuss our lives with our girlfriends, we talk about what's MOST important to us: our friends, our spouses, our lovers, children, parents, siblings. We HAVE to discuss people, because our lives are not contests; our lives are communities.
So we're not smaller, more limited, or less intelligent because we discuss people; we're women, and we're IMPORTANT, and people matter to us. I just don't want anyone to run away with the idea that people who discuss people are bad (gossip, conversation with malicious intent - whole other story, obviously), it's not as black and white as that.
(Nerdalert, see reference here: http://raysweb.net/poems/articles/tannen.html)
I love this post, Joshguy, I love to see how both you and Sam are growing. I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you, because even though you're the idiot who swallowed one of Mr. Freiman's live guppies in high school, you're also THIS awesome, smart dude, and I think you're great.
Love ya!