Lessons Learned....the hard way

Due to one specific event in the past month (explained later on), I have been reflecting on lessons that sometimes have to be learned the hard way because there is no earlier opportunity for someone to inform you that it's just a bad idea. Theoretically speaking, this is probably one of the most effective ways to learn because your brain will certainly remember the consequences of your actions, which will therefore enable you to "think twice" before repeating the same act. However, in some cases it seems that these lessons need to be learned over and over again, repeating the same errors that result in the same, and consistently frustrating, outcome. I also believe that there is huge variance in how each person comes to mark off a "lesson learned"; for some it takes one short explanation but for others they need to test the consequences just to see if they could possibly get away with it unscathed. Joshua falls more into the latter category, which causes me to shake my head and just say, "oh boy" time and time again. I will give him credit for greatly improving in this area and using foresight instead of being satisfied with learning from the consequences. He has certainly mastered the art of learning from hindsight but there is also great value in taking preventative measures through utilizing foresight. Just one of the many many ways our two brains are wired extremely different, which we both appreciate because it allows us to learn from each other in many different ways. But it also has a high entertainment value when the other person does something that evokes the response "what were you thinking?!".
Anyways, here's my personal list of lessons learned the hard way, which includes a selection of stories from friends and family. Of course it needs to start off with the one event that has caused this topic of reflection, which you may or may not have heard. Enjoy!

1. Lesson: What is a suppository? Long story short, under very odd circumstances I was in the possession of the suppository form of Gravol but was not aware of its unique...properties. After a very short night of sleep, Josh and I were at the Toronto airport getting ready to head to Calgary when I decided taking a Gravol would be extremely beneficial in helping me sleep on the plane. We thought the "comfort shaped" feature was just a unique way of making a pill that will slide down the gullet with speed worthy of its torpedo like shape. Josh tried to tell me that the box had the word "rectal" on it but I was definitely not in the mood for his jokes. After 20 minutes I was completely doped up and could hardly keep my eyes open because my body had seem to have lost all voluntary muscle movement. However, my legs were so twitchy that I could only fall asleep for 5-10 seconds at a time before a major twitch would wake me up. It was not a happy time. After being very out of it for the rest of the day, at the supper table we were explaining these strange pills that had apparently enormous influence on me. It turns out that one of these torpedo was equivalent to two normal Gravols (note that it's important I don't take more than half of one of these because it makes me extremely loopy) and they are not meant to be administered orally! I can honestly say that prior to this moment, there was never an opportunity for me to learn what a suppository was! I suppose a quick little read of the instructions would have instantly corrected our misunderstandings but sadly we thought we were better than that.
I'm also just going to add another story that someone shared with me after hearing my own account of accidentally taking a suppository. She was in the hospital after a minor surgery and the nurse came in and casually said it was time for her suppository. This very polite 20 year old responded with "ok!", recognizing that they needed to give her some more medication....what she didn't know was how they intended to do so. The nurse then asked, do you want someone to do it for you or are you ok doing it yourself? The patient said something along the lines of, "it's fine if someone does it for me", while thinking "how can I administer something to myself when I don't even know what it is?". The next question was, "well would you like to do it here or go somewhere a little more private?". This was the key question that would signal any alarm that was not previously going off. What kind of legal medication would you prefer to administer in private?! How was she suppose to know what a suppository was prior to this moment when she had to make a decision about how she was going to take it? It's also worth noting that she was so drugged up on morphine that the whole picture wasn't entirely clicking as fast as it would have for her very perceptive brain. In the end, she got the meds she needed, healed from the surgery and now knows what a suppository is.

2. Lesson: Omnipotence is pronounced "om-NI-po-tence". In my first year English class, when I was still trying to figure out my roll in the big world of academics and scholarship, I had a most embarrassing moment during our discussion of Mary Shelly's Frankenstein. The professor had asked a question about the descriptions of the atmosphere in the chapter we had just finished reading. I thumbed through my book and saw that the author clearly describes the expression of "omnipotence" in the setting. I raised my hand and responded to the question with: "omniPOtence". The prof, who was quite old and slightly hard of hearing, asked me to repeat myself so I said "omniPOtence". Again, he did not hear me so I repeated it a third and forth time, each becoming increasingly louder, "omniPOtence". Finally the prof said, "I'm sorry but I don't know what you're referring". At this point another class mate says, "she's saying omNIpotence" to which the prof replied. "Oh yes, omNIpotence, we see this when she describes...". Wow, that was embarrassing but I certainly learned the correct pronunciation and have consistently used it since then. There are so many other cases of words being unknowningly mispronounced such as: "per-SEVERance", "deci-DUous", "KI-tadel" (citadel), "epi-phany", "ser-ot-onin" and so, so, so many more.


3. Lesson: Rolly brushes are not made to brush hair. This is a classic lesson that most girls learn if their mothers use a rolly brush and happen to leave it laying anywhere out in the open. The novelty of using a round shape brush is too exciting to pass up but it is quickly discovered that they have this strange ability to create countless knots in your hair, while knotting itself right in the thick of it. How is a 6 year old suppose to know how to operate this brush? It looks so innocent but is brutal trap for the locks of the uneducated.

4. Lesson: Don't lick blood off your cut. I'm sure this one is more of a rarity than others but I was present when a teammate discovered something very disgusting about the small cut on her hand. We were playing basketball and she returned to the bench with a little bit of blood on her hand. Thinking that it was just a small cut from the rough play and occasional tumbles, she licked it off. A horrified face soon followed when she discovered there was no such cut on her hand or any where else on her body. It was someone else's blood that she had just licked off. Very gross!

5. Lesson: Water is not a good substitute in cereal. Most people are aware of my enormous love for cereal and complete dependence on it to start each morning. On one occasion I woke up, poured a big bowl of cereal and was subsequently devastated to discover there was no more milk. I not exaggerating when I say "devastated" because it really feels like all my anticipation, hopes and dreams for my morning have been crushed when I can't eat cereal. There wasn't time to find an alternate breakfast so I just filled my bowl up with water. This was several years ago but I distinctly remember the experience of trying to choke down soggy miniwheats soaked in water. It was disgusting! I don't know what it is about milk but it is absolutely necessary for an enjoyable bowl of cereal. Some may beg to differ, such as Josh who has been known to eat cereal with juice or Coke. In my opinion this destroys everything good about cereal.

6. Lesson: Don't microwave a whole egg. One of my dear friends decided to have a mircowaved egg as an easy, fast, and nutritious lunch. Fresh from the microwave, the egg sat steaming before her on the plate she had lifted up to her mouth. With one poke of the fork, the egg literally exploded in front of her, spewing egg debris every which way. Because her face was in close proximity to the egg, it was splattered with the white, smooth and slippery fragments of what was going to be lunch. I was sitting just across from her when this happened and was fortunate enough to be looking when the explosion happened. It was one of those moments when things seem to happen in slow motion because your brain seems to know that it's processing something very out of the ordinary.

There are so many more stories I could share but I feel that I've written more than enough for one entry! I'm sure we all have a long list of stories that account for the acquisition of a particular lesson that could have very well been learned an easier way. As embarrassing, entertaining and hilarious as these stories are, the bottom line is,

LESSON LEARNED