riconoscente.

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Today I am thankful for Canada.

Remembrance Day is a time when all Canadians have the opportunity to reflect on the value of freedom and the sacrifices of those who fought for the peace and freedom we are blessed with in our country. We are so fortunate to live in a nation where we can feel safe leaving our home, speak our minds without fear, practice any religion without condemnation, petition our concerns before our politicians, travel wherever and whenever we want, and are entitled to a comprehensive list of rights that are honoured and preserved by the government. Of course our country, government and all citizens of Canada are not perfect. In fact, they're far from it! However, at least we live in a place where we have an opportunity to work towards improvement and growth without fearing for our lives and the well being of our family. Without the freedom that others have fought for on our behalf, there's no telling if we would enjoy this same quality of living today.
I want to share a few stories with you that have helped put our freedom into perspective for me:
One morning I woke up to a loud explosion that shook the walls of my house. I was so suddenly woken up that for a while I was convinced I had imagined that in my half asleep state. When I got up I eventually asked one of my roomates if she heard something strange or maybe felt the walls shake like I had. Good thing I asked because she was doubting it happened too! It turns out there was an explosion at a nearby plant and even though it was roughly a kilometer away, it was fairly startling! A few were injured but no one was killed in the explosion, thankfully. It made me realize that some people, too many, have this experience of explosions and bombs nearly every day! Not only that, they go about their day never knowing if these explosions are going to take their business, their home, their life or the life of a loved one. I can't even imagine living in that horror of constantly hearing explosions but never knowing when or where they will happen!
I remember the story someone shared with me about her experience speaking with Afghans about the war and the role of American and Canadian soldiers. One woman had lost her son during an air raid back when the USA first invaded Afghanistan in 2001. She asked the woman if she was angry at the western soldiers for causing this great loss in her family. Her response was an absolute no. Despite the tragic and unjust death of her son she was thankful for the soldiers because they were fighting for her people; her son's death was a sacrifice made on behalf of the greater good for her country. I'm thankful to live in a country where we aren't required to make such enormous sacrifices simply to battle for the rights we are entitled to as humans.
Finally, I think of women around the world who are oppressed, discriminated against and abused simply based on their gender. They are denied access to education, are restricted in their day to day activities and will always be viewed as the lesser gender, some even going as far to considering them only slightly above the most disliked animals. I cannot imagine being subject to this treatment simply because I'm a woman but, sadly, for some women this is all they have known. I'm thankful that I have the same rights as a man in this country and even though there are many ways to improve in the issue of gender discrimination, I can still make my own decisions, go where I want (with or without a man!), seek justice when I have been wronged and have access to all the services our country offers. My heart mourns for women in the world who have not, and perhaps never will, experience these things. 
Today I give thanks for being a citizen of a free nation, which was not because of anything I did but because I was blessed to have been born here. I think of those who work so hard to escape from their country and government so they can have a better life in Canada. I am thankful for our free country, which has much room for improvement but provide us with so much because of those who came before us and fought for it. 

reconnaissant.

Today I’m thankful for education.

I have spent my fair share of time grumbling not only about tests, homework and teachers but also about the education system in general. However, today as I was tutoring I realized that, even with it’s problems, I am thankful to have learned and worked in our education system. We were reviewing Grade 9 chemistry today and, sure, I really haven’t used much of that knowledge since Grade 9 so I was pretty rusty on the subject, but I think it’s great that I at least had the opportunity to learn it! No, learning the difference between and ionic and molecular compounds did not change my life, nor did it inspire me to pursue anything chemistry related! However, I was taught about these things by a good teacher, in a safe environment and surrounded by friends so that if the situation arose that this knowledge would be helpful, I would know it!

I certainly have a critique on the education system and the overloading of information partnered with some questionable assessment practices. But, I still see lots to be thankful for especially as a resident of Alberta who had free access to kindergarten through Grade 12 education (one of the best curriculums in our country and, some might claim, worldwide) and the opportunity to attend a post secondary institution.

I challenge you to take a moment to reflect on the people around the world who were never taught to read and write, who can’t afford to attend school (or perhaps purchase the uniform), women who have to learn in secret because it’s forbidden by their government, those with special needs who cannot access a school or programs designed for their unique needs, and those who will walk hours in war-torn countries simply to get an education. I’m thankful to be educated, to have access to continue education and the opportunity to help educate others.

agradecido.

Speaking of imaginary worlds, this is one of my favorites, which is not so imaginary thanks to Universal Studios in Orlando. 

Maybe one day I'll make it out there to see it for myself!

Today I am thankful for playing.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to get to play with kids every day! Playing, imagining and make-believing makes the world come alive in ways that we forget in our adult years. Playing is beyond just doing something for fun or entertainment; in that moment it’s everything in a child’s world and it’s pure joy. I love to see Laurel (who is now coming up to 2 ½) as she “play games” with me and something as simple as playing catch with a teddy bear brings her immense happiness. Her joy and happiness is uninhibited and you can just tell by her smile that she’s having the best time of her life! The funny thing is 3 minutes later you can be doing something else and she’ll still have that same sense of amazement and excitement despite how simple the activity may seem.

Last night she climbed on my back and started patting me with intention and thought. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was making me taller. We played like this for a while longer and then again today and the whole time she is just happy as a clam. To have the ability to create a world where you can make people taller by (this was her method…) putting food on their limbs, patting it down and then wiping off the “dirties” is truly a gift in my adult world of worry and obligations!

So often my mind is occupied by more things than it can keep track of, many of which involve problem solving and stress management. Taking time to just simply play and watching someone else have complete and unhindered fun, is a momentary escape from our complex and sometimes overwhelming adult world. I love hearing about kids’ imaginary worlds and the amazing and simple way of seeing the world. For example, the time when I asked preschoolers what a bubble looks like and one responded, completely seriously, with, “it looks like underwear”. Then his peer spoke up and says it actually looks like a magical wall that when you pass through it you enter a magical world and turn into magical animals and monsters. Whoa! I want to live in a world where I can see underwear and magical worlds in a bubble (p.s. kids the right answer was iridescent and transparent but, hey, I guess it could look like underwear…right?)

Oh to engage this world as a child and just simply play.

thankful.

A picture of three tuckered Donovans on the airplane back from Mexico. Please note that even though Kelsey (middle) appears to be the less knocked out than then Jen and I, she was so drugged on Gravol that we had to stick something up her nose to wake her up. 

Ok, maybe we didn't have to do that but nothing else was as effective!

Today I am thankful for the gift of sleep. 

Sure my night was plagued with dreams of a cleaning crew that came through my house and took all items that could be used to create crystal meth (I have no idea where that came from!), but I was able to get 8 hours of sleep! I have a love-hate relationship with my sleep these days to the point where weeks go by and I forget what “real” sleep even feels like. The problem is it’s not a typical and identifiable sleep disorder that’s constantly depriving me of sleep. No, my problem is that I dream too intensely to the point where I can’t even distinguish reality some days! My dreams can be like a prison that I’m trapped in and subjected to without any control over my situation. Have you seen the movie, "Inception"? Well that is almost my exact experience with dreaming to the extent of waking up 3 times before I’m actually in reality again! At one point I even started taking anti-seizure medication to dampen my brain activity at night. Over the past few months the medication was effective but then stopped working so I’m off it all together so at least I don’t have to deal with the side effects.

However, last night I had a real, drug-free sleep! It wasn’t quiet, peaceful and as restful as some people regularly experience but the big part is that I woke up with a sense that rest was actually accomplished! It was exciting for me but also for Josh who gets very regular updates on all the adventures I go on in my dreams and suffers when my exhaustion results in grumpiness and a lack of patience. 

Today I am thankful for sleep. I’m thankful for the opportunity to have 8 uninterrupted hours while enjoying my slumber on a cozy bed under warm blankets and in a safe home. Sure I might not have the most restful of sleeps but I know there will be many people around the world going to bed tonight without the simple blessings of a bed, a blanket, a home and safety. 

30 Days of Thankfulness

Photo Source: http://kerryskronicles.blogspot.com/2011/10/building-inspiration.html

This is the beginning of a new blogging series, if you will, which will focus on being thankful each day. I have been inspired to do this for a few different reasons. The main reason is because I am having a really hard time going into the home stretch of Josh being gone. Some might think that it should be easier because the end is in sight but it actually works the opposite way for me! I’m so tired of this time of separation and it’s hard to maintain a good attitude when I just want the remaining time to pass quickly so we can get it over and done with. It’s a struggle to have a positive attitude each day when I anticipate how much better it will be to have Josh back. As his return comes closer it’s hard to look forward to the future and not feel bitter and angry that I can’t have those things now! Yes, it’s an opportunity for growth for both of us but married people are meant to be together and I’m just really ready for that to happen for us once again! We both are. So, as a way of dealing with my frustration and struggle attitude until Josh returns, I’m going to spend 30 days writing about something I am thankful for each day.

I think we all go through times where it’s a challenge to be thankful and positive because our current situation is full of difficulties and growing pains. I don’t want to use that as an excuse for having a bad attitude but I don’t think there’s anything wrong in acknowledging that it happens! It doesn’t mean we like feeling this way or are refusing to do anything about it.

Sometimes we just need someone to agree with what’s on our mind and just outright say “this sucks” not so we can feel justified in our misery but just so that we know what we’re feeling is ok, it’s not wrong. It’s very kind when people try to respond to our difficulties by reminding us of the positive things in life but there comes a point when hearing it from others just doesn’t help because we’ve become numb from our own pain. Our attitude is derived from our thoughts and experiences so until we can bring ourselves to be genuinely thankful and positive, real change isn’t going to happen. However, it is great to have people to help you along in that process and give you ideas! I’m just trying to say that the words of others isn’t what changes our attitude; it’s believing these words for ourselves and letting them transform our attitude from the inside out.

Sorry I went on a bit of a venting rampage. It’s been a really tough few days! Tomorrow I will write my first thankfulness entry and you can guarantee I will mean every word of it, not because I’m forcing fluffy positivity but because it’s one simple thing that I can hold onto to bring me the hope I need to get through one more day.   

Critical Thinking...

Critical thinking...

This term may be new for some of you, but for the most part I think everyone knows what it is. Up until a year ago I didn't. I did things because I had always done them that way. That was the way I was taught or that's how I saw other people do it. I'm not saying I didn't put a lot of thought into things, it just didn't go deeper than the surface. My father spent a lot of time trying to open me up to this concept but it's one of those things that unless it clicks for me, you're talking to a brick wall. I don't know why I work that way, not being able grasp the concept, as it were. It's the way I have always been but it's also one of the ways I'm trying to grow in. Being in a relationship, a deep committed relationship, has been quite an eye opener for me. Sam, as you can imagine, has invested so much into my life and although I could rant for pages about how amazing she is and how important she is to me, I'll try to stick with this one example :)

One aspect of critical thinking comes in the form of conversation. You can be friends with someone, you can be best friends with someone. You have people that know you well and you have acquaintances. You have family and friends in varying degrees of relationship and for many different reasons you can lose touch with people. It doesn't mean they aren't important to you, sometimes that's just the way life is. With all the people you know, how often do we talk about deep issues, intellectual things. One of my friends put a quote on Facebook the other day that said
 "Great minds discuss IDEAS. Average minds discuss EVENTS. Small minds discuss PEOPLE."
 How often do we get to the heart of issues with our friends or talk about meaningful things instead of gossip? Do you know the people in your life well enough to be comfortable enough conversing about some of those deep things? This is something I'm working towards. I'm a long way from being half way there but the process has been started. Sam and I talk about anything and everything, sometimes our conversation isn't very intelligent (mostly I'm to blame for that ;) but there is always substance to what we say in any given day. To be able to branch out and talk about the heart of the issues around us is an amazing thing. It helps me think beyond the surface of my relationships.

Another aspect of critical thinking Sam has opened me up to is spending habits. I'm not going to lie, I'm impulsive. I've always had enough money to pay the bills and food but I've never really sat down and come up with a spending plan... or should I say saving plan? Sam on the other hand has been a student for 6 years, plain and simple she can be frugal. Now I don't say that in a bad way because in this example opposites do attract. We balance each other out perfectly in this way but it's taken quite a bit of work to get there. I have changed my shopping habits a ton, that's not to say I don't have moments of... relapse, but that's where Sam comes in and helps me out! In the opposite scenario I try to give Sam logical (she responds really well to logic), thought out and practical reasons why it's okay to spend a little bit more money on something. I realize I am only explaining the perfect situation, it isn't always that easy but it's something we both work on.

That is the very short list of some of the critical aspects I have been working on. I couldn't do it without Sam though. She loves and respects me in so many different ways. That is one of the most amazing aspects of marriage, to have someone lovingly lift you up and help you grow in the areas you struggle in. Reflecting like this makes me miss her so much!

Support Our Troops

I've heard and seen the words "support our troops" in so many different contexts over the years but I've always struggled to understand how to translate this slogan into actual action. Until now.
It frustrates me that people throw those words out so flippantly without any concrete modes or ideas in fulfilling the very thing they are asking for. So many times I've asked myself, "what does it mean for me to support our troops? Does that mean I have to support our government's decisions in global political and military matters? Does that mean I need to enlist? How do these people expect me to support our troops?!" I've wondered these things often. Until now.
I'm not going to tell you how you should be supporting your troops because that's a decision that you need to make on your own based on your own philosophies, gifts, resources, connections and context. I just thought that with Josh being gone, now more than ever is a good time to dialogue about what it looks like to truly support our troops. Based on what I've realized and learned through our experience with the military, here are some practical ways I believe you can enact the meaning of "support our troops"

• Understand what it is they do! For most of you Josh and I are a great link into the world of everything military so feel free to ask and learn what exactly it is that he does! It's amazing how many people don't have the slightest clue what the military does beyond going over to Afghanistan and fighting the Taliban. I'm not going to lie, that was me four years ago! ...the not knowing part, not the fighting Taliban part. If you'd like to better support your troops, there's no better way to get started than to learn about what it is that they're doing. 
• Be a good friend to the people you know in the military. Be reliable and a listening ear to them especially because they really don't receive much of that at their workplace or perhaps amongst their coworkers. Stand by them through all the surprises and annoyances the military throws at them and just be constant in your friendship.
• For troops overseas, communicate with them! They can be experiencing some pretty intense isolation, culture shock, work stress, you name it! Just hearing from someone back home is so valuable and meaningful. I know especially for Josh he appreciates just knowing that he's in someone's thoughts even though he's far away and removed from his life back home. Even if you don't know anyone directly overseas, it's awesome to write someone no matter how random the connection is. Even your cousin's, girlfriend's, little brother will appreciate some words of encouragement from someone back home so don't ever underestimate the impact you can make!
• Support their family. Many people know how tough this tour has been for me but also how difficult it is in general to be married to someone who is literally owned by the military. We have been disappointed so many times that I have become extremely jaded by the military system and some days it takes all my effort to not be entirely bitter and angry towards Josh's "employers". ...the other days I just don't try and those are not happy days! I know it's also tough on his family, especially with the uncertain nature of pretty much everything (...you're going to Afghanistan in a few months. Can we tell you exactly when? Well no. Why? Well you don't need to know that. Oh and we have no clue when you're coming home. We'll give you this date range but just so you know it could be outside of that timeline). This is not the time or place for me to critique the system, this is just a snapshot of my interpretation, as flawed and limited as it may be. However, we need support from you as we also get tossed and turned around by the military system. For me sometimes I just need to have a good cry or a hug to make up for the 20+ I'm use to getting from Josh every day. Other times I just need to be distracted by people and just have a good time. Mostly though, I just need people to be real with me instead of trying to come up with the right thing to say or feeling responsible for making me feel better. Just be a good friend.
• Wear red on Fridays. It's just like wearing red and white on Canada Day except it's to show support for the troops through wearing your country's colors each Friday. I'm not going to lie, I don't really ever think of doing this but I think it's great when people make a point to!
• As simple or corny as it may sound, go out and get yourself one of those car magnets if you feel so inclined! I can't even express how it makes Josh and I feel when we pass by someone who has chosen to display one and just know that they have a desire to support us in Josh's career. Sure we'll never meet 99% of these people but it's just really cool to know that they're out there. Josh even made a comment one time when we went to Calgary that there were significantly less vehicles displaying Support Our Troops so it's clearly something that we notice! 
• When you see a soldier in uniform out in public, instead of looking at them and thinking "what are you doing out in those clothes?" why not just go up and thank them for the decision they've made to serve your country? Sure some of them could care less whether or not you did this but there have been so many that have put their life on the line to serve our country and global peace keeping efforts. Why wouldn't we be thankful for that? I know there is a whole lot of political and philosophical debate about whether what they're doing overseas is right or wrong but if you believe that something good is coming out of military efforts overseas, why not express thankfulness for that. I think this is an important point to bring to mind because I have seen so often in the States where people will go out of their way to approach a soldier in uniform, shake their hand and thank them for what they do. Yes there are difference in the militaries and even a sense of patriotism but I think it would be so great if we could show the same kind of appreciation for our troop, which goes above slapping on a magnet.

Well that's about all I've come up with from my short and limited experience. In sum, you don't have to join the army to show your support, don't underestimate the value of emails and facebook messages, and it would be awesome if you made a point of thanking your soldiers. These are just some of my suggestions because I think it's wrong for us to be surrounded by the concept of "support our troops" but not be provided with many practical means of doing so! Take and leave what you'd like but I hope you've found even a little something helpful in my ramble :)

-S