So freckly! I use to hate this picture just because of that fact. Thanks, Lynae, for the photo!
Hey there. It's been a while since we've just written a blog post for the fun of writing so here goes a shot at it after a long hiatus.
With the much anticipated arrival of spring, and soon summer, I have also welcomed the coming of more freckles to my growing collection. Anyone with freckles can likely testify that one's relationship with their freckles can be quite challenging. I'm happy to say that this is the first time in my life that I'm actually glad to see them flourish in the warm spring sun. It has been quite a long journey to this point that I'm going to recap for my freckled and non-freckled comrades alike.
Many years ago now, there was a time before freckles. Hard to believe now that they've taken up permanent residency on my face and have only exponentially multiplied since. At first it was strange but everyone seemed to be excited that there were brown spots spontaneously appearing on my nose. I was too little to care about what they looked like; more than anything I was perplexed by these strange spots gradually taking over my face.
For a while they were fun and I didn't mind them, especially in that time before you start worrying what other people think when they look at you. Ever so gradually though I began to resent these ever-increasing spots that rudely appeared without my permission or control. I then started trying to control their spread with sunscreen, thinking that if I applied enough, there was no way the sun could coax more out of my otherwise pale skin. Wrong.
Many people will remember the classic book, Freckle Juice by Judy Blume. Reading this book was a memorable day in my life because it gave me hope there was a cure! Strange that I held hope in a freckle cure while entirely understanding the fictional nature of this book. However, it planted the idea in my head that might be a way to rid myself of them indefinitely. Now, this is the point where non-freckled people will look perplexed and wonder why anyone would want to get rid of their precious freckles (or at least that's what it has felt like in the past). Here was my perspective at the time: there were brown dots, spots and splotches taking over my face at an overwhelmingly increasing rate. I no longer could remember what my face looked like as a "normal" colour, instead I was stuck looking like pale giraffe. The thought of regaining my "real" face back was a dream that had been sparked by Judy Blume. I set off to research the topic through the most high-tech means I had available at the time: the digital library catalogue at school. I mean, it was a huge step up from the index cards because I could directly put my query into the search bar. Awesome! The memory is a bit cloudy but I seem to remember learning about some sort of chemical compounds that could be applied to remove specific pigmentation from the skin. I didn't care if it permanent burned my skin, I wanted to be free of my freckles!!!
Fast forward a decade later. My resentment had only increase along with the emergence of new, unwelcomed freckles. It didn't matter how many people told me they were "nice" or "cute", I could not appreciate them in the slightest.
And then things changed. Honestly, it was probably when I married Josh because he makes it extremely well known how much he loves my freckles. In his mind they have always been an inseparable part of me and therefore he loves them just as much as he loves me (which is a lot!). It took a few years of hearing, on a regular basis, "I love your freckles! They are so beautiful!". After years of rejecting their value and appeal it took quite a while for those words to penetrate my skepticism. Josh has helped me see that if I don't love myself the way I am, the way that Josh loves me, then it's an insult to him because it says he's wrong in loving those things about me. I wouldn't say I'm overly enthusiastic about my freckles, especially while they're still a contributing factor to why people still mistake me for a teenager. However, I have the attitude of: if you can't beat them, join them!
I share this because, while this seems like a silly story of superficial beauty, it was a huge factor that negatively affected my self-image growing up and, today, I'm still shaking the roots of that off. I'm confident I'm not alone in having those tiny physical "imperfections" (as I understood them to be) wreck havoc on my self-image, which then withers one's self-confidence. I'm so thankful to be at a point in life where I'm not concerned about what other people think about my appearance; there are so many other, authentically important, things in life that are more deserving of my attention and energy. It took a while to get there though.
What ever your "freckles" are, I hope you can learn to appreciate them or at least neutrally tolerate them. What ever your kids, spouse, friend's "freckles" are, let them know that they're an awesome part of who that person is. What you look like outside doesn't determine or indicate who you are inside but it's a package deal so if you're going to love the person inside, you've got to love the unique package they came in.
Here are a few classic moments for my freckle friends out there:
That moment when you wonder how you got dirt on your face, start wiping it ferociously and then realize that it's a freckle; a part of your face.
That moment when you fall asleep on the couch in the sun and wake up with half a face of brilliant freckles and the other half their same, dull colour.
That moment when you cross your eyes and instead of seeing flesh-tone, you see a brown blob. That would be the freckles.
That moment when you go outside and it feels like your freckles are having a party in sunshine and you just know they're going to be three times darker by the time you go inside.
That moment when you wonder how you got chocolate on your face, start wiping it ferociously and then realize it's that same freckle you tried to wash away a few days ago.
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