A Stomach With The Attitude of a 2 Year Old

This post is not intended to cultivate sympathy or anything of the like, but the truth is, I've been sick for several days straight and am running of creative ways to engage my mind while I am incapacitated. I've caught this super strain of a cold/flu (this is my own diagnosis) that has gone through basically all the symptoms possible. During the many hours of my life I have spent in medicenters, I often found myself turning towards those "Flu and Cold Season Self-Diagnosis" charts as reading material to occupy the long wait. If I happened to have any of the symptoms at the time, I would take comfort knowing that there were still some undesirable symptoms I thankfully wasn't having to deal with at that time. This week has not been the case because I've blown through that whole chart and every day it's a new discovery as to what's going to get better, and what new troubles are creeping up.
Because it's day three of the stomach flu portion of this super-strain, I've been learning the boundaries between making my stomach feel better, and unexpectantly causing it to violently revolt. Through this learning process, I have discovered that the stomach flu must be dealt with in a very similar manner as one uses while dealing with a 2 year old.

It wakes you up early and insists that it's time for breakfast, perhaps well before you would have preferred to wake up. You prepare a breakfast that has always been enjoyed and compatible with your stomach but as soon as you try to eat, it seems that your stomach starts screaming at you as if it's the most  ridiculous idea that you're trying to feed it. You're confused because there were clear signs it was hungry and the time of day means it's probably in need of some nourishment. Despite this logic, it is clearly unwilling to eat. However, 20 minutes later it's demanding the need for a snack, maybe even a little treat. It doesn't make sense because very recently this was not the case and you wonder what changed so much in those short 20 minutes. Instead of going for something practical or nutritional, you maybe give it something you know for sure it loves just to keep down the number of revolts you have to deal with within an hour. Snap peas are healthy enough and seem like a good choice right?
Wrong.
1 hour later there is yet another revolt, almost as it it's kicking and punching, screaming "Why did you feed me those snap peas?!" And there go the snap peas.
This leaves you feeling very confused because you know it's hungry and yet it's unwilling to take the food you thoughtfully offer. Maybe if you just give it some down time things will come around and you'll get somewhere. Hours may go by and you are hesitant to give into its every whim because you are quite aware of the fact that it just doesn't know itself and its own needs right now.
Things settle down and you think you're on the right track so you go in for another attempt. We'll take it easy this time and stick with something really familiar. Apple sauce. Yeah, that should be just fine! And it works. You're elated by the success and the progress you have made. You play it safe for the next little while, maybe just trying out some soda crackers and a bit of yogurt. This is good!
But then your success carries you away and you try something a bit more ambitious. It's been days since you've had a little indulgence so why not take a handful of those chips that have been sitting on the counter? At first there is cooperation and you think you've finally figured out the dynamics but then, BOOM! Your stomach returns to that disagreeable and strong willed state, seemingly deflating all of the work and patience you built into the last 6 hours!

For the record, I love 2 year olds. I just happen to think that they can be unpredictable and defiant, which can leave you feeling confused and exasperated but with the knowledge that they really don't know what they want, let alone what they need! And right now, I feel like I'm dealing with a stomach that has the patience and attitude of a 2 year old but, with time, I'm sure we'll both make it through this stage.

If you read this and think I'm completely out of my mind, just consider that you might be too if you had been in bed sick for far too many days in a row! Also, Josh has been out in Kingston this week for a training exercise so I've been lacking company and, evidently, becoming a little stir crazy!

Josh's First Blog

Just a note: Sam picked this photo for the entry because it somewhat captures Josh's expression towards blogging; a combination of

excitement/anticipation mingled with "I really don't know what I'm doing here". 

The photo is from when we went suit shopping for Kelsey & Jesse's wedding.

Well, the long anticipated Josh start is now upon you… don’t get to excited though, this isn’t necessarily “my thing”. What I mean is, ya this is going to be fun, buuuuuut this is so much more Sam’s forte that her awesome vocabulary and writing skills will very much overshadow anything I could bring to bear. Be that as it may, I have to try ;)

So, after some thoughtful reflection (I will expand on that later) I decided what my first topic for blogging would be… marriage. For all the un-married people out there don’t stop reading just yet, this is going to be packed with lots of funny stories, “adjustments” (as it were), and of course reasons why marriage isn’t always so… shall we say fun… Sam just told me I should add that its mostly fun and almost never not fun, not that I meant for it to seem like it was mostly not fun… I would say a 96 fun to 4 not fun. Anyway, lots to share and I promise you’ll enjoy parts if not all of it!

This has taken me a long time to write out. I explained to Sam that I really wanted to do this blog with her; I also informed her that just because my enthusiasm was high did not necessarily mean there would be a high turnout of posts. Writing for me is a “have to be in the mood for” kind of thing, whereas for Sam, it’s very much different. I have literally sat and watched her write up a full post in less than 15 minutes… now I think it’s a combination of amazing typing skills (and man do they fly) and very coherent thought. She does a lot of reflecting and organizing in her mind, enabling her to write a blog in her head and then essentially just putting it down in writing. What I’m trying to say is Sam intimidates me. I mean, ya she has 5 years of post-secondary on me and has developed some amazing skills but man oh man is she good! Okay okay okay, I’m seriously going to blog instead of ramble.

Two words, conflict resolution. Conflict resolution with co-workers, friends and family did not prepare me for the marriage side of the house. Living intimately with someone really brings out the nitty gritty in every aspect of your relationship, regardless of how prepared you think you are. I've been there. Sam and I together make an especially interesting combination. Sam is a woman; she is sensitive and more easily hurt them I am. Don’t get me wrong, I love how sensitive Sam is, she helps me be a more considerate and compassionate person but it can also have negative connotations. I, being a man can be less sensitive, not necessarily on purpose, it just kind of …happens. I think the reason it happens isn’t really that complicated, I’m flawed. I get lazy, I forget things and in doing that it hurts her. Learning to live with someone, no matter how long you have known them or how well you know them, is really hard. It’s an adjustment, one that is very challenging but so worth it! The things we can turn into really big deals and get upset about sometimes amazes me when I step back and take a look at it. We live and we learn!

Sliver Pie. Sam has talked about this in an earlier blog but to really understand how it works I think you need to see it from my perspective, the sliver. Who likes pie? Everyone. Who would like only a tiny small sliver of said pie? Ya that’s what I thought. Everyone likes pie and a good healthy portion at that (maybe I shouldn’t have used the word healthy lol). If we transfer this idea to our bed hopefully you can get the picture. Sam has almost quite literally the whole bed. She needs that much room in order to get a good sleep and I have to be honest with you, most of the time it isn’t a huge sacrifice for me to have the sliver. I’m one of those guys that when my head hits the pillow I could count down from 5 and pass out. That and I don’t mind sleeping with only my body width of space. However, there have been some nights were, as soon as I roll away from Sam onto the side of my body facing the wall, she stretches out even farther! So I don’t even have my body width in which to claim bed space with, and then I am quite stuck. Why don’t I just push her over a little bit you say? Well, the thing is Sam doesn’t really sleep very well, it takes her a long time to sleep and if she wakes up in the middle of the night it takes that much longer just to fall back asleep. So most of the time I just suck it up, that’s part of marriage, you give a lot and you get a lot back!

So that’s my kick off, I know it’s not super long but there will be more to add as the days go by. There is so much in our lives we look forward to sharing with everyone and this is a very easy way to do it!

-J-

A Special Moment Shopping

Photo from http://farm1.static.flickr.com/124/346644059_ebd4c277e2.jpg 

Today I had a few "special" moments while I was shopping at the grocery store. First of all, we have been deprived of specific food items for the past two weeks because I was holding out until today to buy them on cheap Tuesday (you get to save 15% off your whole purchase!). I pulled into the grocery store about 45 minutes before I had to leave to tutor and I thought that was more than enough time to get all my purchases taken care of. Easy enough right? 

About 40 minutes later I had a cart entirely stocked full of everything from whole wheat egg noodles to organic body wash. At this point I realized I needed to head for the check out and get on my way. Now, I don't know why, but at some Save On More stores they only have those extremely short tills, the kind you see in the express line. My cashier was friendly and really great but it still took about 10 minutes just to load and check out all my stuff. Unfortunately I was already running a bit behind schedule so I piled my bags in the cart until they were literally heaping over to the point where I was pushing the cart with one hand, steering with my hip and using the other hand to secure one of my heaviest bags and a 11 lb sack of onions. It was quite the sight! 

I scuttling across the parking lot as fast as I can manage and instantly regret parking as far away as I did. I'm thankful that the parking lot has been plowed and, in combination with the days it broke above 0 degrees, the lot was mostly clear. That was what I thought at least until I tried to maneuver my rickety cart over the lumps and bumps of solid ice. Now, I might add that this cart already has it's fair share of quarks and troubles; you know, one of those that seems to bank to the right without cause and frequently one wheel stalls all together for no apparent reason. Now imagine taking that from slushy pavement onto gravelly mounds of ice that range from all shapes and heights. It was not a pretty sigh. In a few moments my cart began to wobble and, despite my best attempts, it toppled over with a bang. On it's way down, I desperately attempted to counter the fall so once the cart hit the ground, my feet were slipping back and forth on the icy ground until I too came down with a crash....slide....crash some more....slide some more. It was one of the moments in life when time seems to stand still and you awareness is heightened to every movement going on around you. It seemed that my actions would have appeared the same as what a cartoon slipping on a banana peel looks like. Yah, real classy. As I laid on the dirty, cold ground, helpless sprawled up on my stomach, I looked to my side and sighed at the sight of my $300 worth of groceries strewn across the parking lot. Until this point, I didn't even think it was possible for a cart to just fall over like that. It's a good thing this isn't a common experience because it was completely impossible for me to get it right side up again on my own. Thankfully after a few minutes of me struggling, someone came over and helped me lift it up. I was surprised it took this long because it was just such a sad sight seeing me tugging and pulling, with no avail, at the lifeless cart accompanied by rolling onions and strewn cereal. 

I finally get my stuff into the car and viciously roll the, now empty, cart back to its chain. I'm not sad to see it go. Once I get into the car and take a look at the receipt, I realize it wasn't even 15% Tuesday, which disappointed me because my whole cart ordeal had seemed worth it because it saved me almost $30! Turns out it was just another day and I had stocked up like it was Y2K. I look at my watch and it's five minutes after when I'm suppose to be tutoring and I still have a 20 minute drive ahead of me. 

Looking back now I can laugh at the situation but it definitely wasn't funny to me then, in fact, I was quite frazzled and upset. Thankfully Josh was home from work and was able to remind me that spilling the groceries and not saving that 15% wasn't a big deal or worth being upset over. At least I can say I've now learned a few lessons: check and double check when the first Tuesday or the month is, and don't attempt to take a full cart onto icy roads alone because it will never end well! 

-S

The Simple Things That Bring Smiles

Over the years I've been creating a mental list of things that I encounter from time to time that never fail to make me smile. Hopefully you have a list of your own because it truly is a great thing to encounter unexpected reasons for smiling. Here are some of my favorites:

- People who sing while driving or walking. Some of the best ones are the people who walk the same route every day by themselves because they become so comfortable in their routine that they don't doubt their confidence when complete strangers pass by and see them belting out a tune. This is especially precious when they get the facial expressions and hand gestures going!

- While we're on the topic of singing, I find it hilarious that little girls commonly sing while they use the washroom. When I've been at elementary schools and couldn't use the staff washroom, almost every time I heard someone contenting singing while doing their business. I suspect that they get so wrapped up in their singing that they check out into their own other world and forget that their teacher is back in the classroom, potentially wondering what they are doing! The best part is that they're typically spontaneous and made up songs.

- One more thing related to singing is the joy I get when a group of kids sing and you have that one kid that  feels compelled to sing at the top of their lungs. The best example of this was when I was teaching Vacation Bible School one summer. There was a five year old girl who I absolutely adored because she had so much spunk, sass and self-confidence that allowed her to express herself without holding back. When it came time for singing, she would often refuse to participate because she wasn't interested in it, or perhaps it bored her. However, one evening we had a concert for the parents and at this particular moment, the young girl wanted to show off her skills by singing out louder than any other kid in the group. I admit this act may come across as more rude than humorous but I had to laugh because she would sing out the words she knew but would fill in the blanks with a quieter "hmm, hmm, na na na, dum dum". Because she wouldn't participate when we were learning the songs, her songs consisted of about 96% hums other than the few key words that she would sing out loudly and lengthily, such as "nah, nah, hmmmmm, da.......Jeeeeeeeeeesus"

- For some strange reason, the sight of birds running always makes me smile. At first glance I don't think anything of it but once I actually stop and think about what they look like, I find it so ridiculous that those little legs run so fast and awkwardly! You can certainly tell these creatures were not created for land transportation. They may move fast but every step is miraculous in the sense that those knobby, scrawny and pronged appendages could hold up their bodies and succeed in moving them forward!

Photo from our trip to the Bahamas

- Squirrels are also wonderfully common creatures that just make me smile when I stop and observe them for a moment. They're so twitchy and sporadic that it makes me wonder what on earth is going on inside their head. For anyone who's seen Over The Hedge, I think they got it right with the portrayal of Hammy; he's constantly full of energy, perky and jumping from idea to idea. I also find it hilarious to create a commentary on what is possibly going through a squirrel's peanut sized brain!

- Although some might find this offensive, it makes me smile when a little kid asks me if I'm pregnant. In most cases I figure they ask this because they're either just learning about how babies are born or they are  about to become an older sibling. I find this funny particularly because of the ideas from which this inquiry arises:
Kid: "Are you an adult/ are you married?"
Me: "Yes"
Kid: "Are you going to have a baby?"
Me: "No, just because I'm an adult/married doesn't mean I'm going to have a baby right now"
The best instance of this was when a young girl casually asked if there was a baby in my tummy simply because we were eating lunch together. I told her that there was no baby inside me. She then proceeded to ask me repeatedly if I was sure. When I assured her over and over again, she responded with "well, you know, there could be!" and that was the end of the conversation.

- Engrish! This is a term used to describe all the times words have been humorously lost in translation. I love Engrish because, of course it's hilarious, but it also makes me mindful of how others pronounce and understand words, as well as the influence of colloquialisms and idioms. There are tonnes of inappropriate Engrish examples just because the direct translation implies something very different in English. I'm not at all laughing at the Engrish authors or advertisers because I believe a large majority of the time, they're completely obviously to their mistakes! It's very similar to when English speakers get a Chinese or Japanese character tattoo because they think it looks cool and means something awesome like  "hope" or "peace"....in actuality some of these are just random words that happen to look nice.

Well that's just a few of the things that seem to catch me off guard every once in a while but certainly evoke a smile! I hope you are also able to find an unexpected reason to smile today :)

-S

Thoughts On Online Dating

Maybe I've been suckered into the e-Harmony commercials they've been playing these days but recently I've been thinking about the value of online dating. Obviously this doesn't apply to me and I'm definitely and outsider looking in. However, it really wasn't that long ago that I was in the single scene so hopefully my thoughts are still somewhat applicable.
In the past I use to think online dating was almost like an easy way out that was reserved only for the desperate. This opinion was largely influenced by my socialization; have you every heard of a Disney princess movie where the perfect couple meets online? I guess there is Meg Ryan and Tom Hank's classic "You've Got Mail" but even that flick doesn't do anything to promote online dating because their relationship takes place via email rather than through an organized website. I feel like we're socialized to think that there's only one way to meet that special someone and it's through encountering them through the natural collision of our friend circles or by random happenstance. The more I think about this, the more ridiculous I think it is! Sure, that may have been the way things have worked for centuries (...well, we won't even go into the arena of arranged marriage or the like) but times have changed significantly, which necessarily changes the "dating scene".
I have so many amazing, awesome and single friends who literally just don't have an opportunity to meet guys. At least not guys that are good enough for them! Especially as we get older, I find that friends circles get smaller and tighter, which has it's pros but one of the cons is that there aren't many opportunities to meet people outside of those circles. After a few years with the same people, even the friends of friends circles are exhausted. This is an unfortunate situation because what's a girl to do? I guess the same applies to guys as well but I'm much more familiar with this problem amongst my girlfriends. The craziest thing is that these are really amazing people that have the life-experience and understanding of self-identity that they're ready for someone else to enter the equation (at least, that's my perception).
So, why not online dating as a solution? I use to have a theory that only "desperate" people signed up for online dating. This came from the thought that online dating is a last resort and there's got to be significant reasons for why these individuals couldn't make it work "on their own". However, the reality is, we don't have community barn dances, there is rarely a self-proclaimed match maker for each small town (not even to mention the cities!), and the traditional understanding of dating and relationships have changed so much that there is more diversity in what's out there. Some people aren't interested in anything serious until later in life while others are eager for a something right out of high school. Then there's the spectrum of your beliefs, values and just overall approach to life. Yes, the world's population may be at an all time high but doesn't directly equate a better likelihood of finding "true love" because there is so much diversity, especially in thought and philosophy, that perhaps makes it even more challenging to find someone to be the peanut butter to your jam. Needless to say, I've changed my perspective about online dating; I don't believe it's reserved for the desperate and the socially awkward, instead, I think it's for those who are smart about using the resources available to them to expand their dating context and apply a methodical and rather practical way of starting a relationship.
Once I got past my former way of thinking, online dating just makes so much sense! Why wouldn't you want to search an entire city, province, country or globe (only for the very ambitious) for someone that has already expressed qualities that are highly compatible with who you are? We're so quick to use are internet resources for so many other things that it's somewhat perplexing there are still stigmas surrounding the idea of online dating. My goodness, if we're willing to trust Wikipedia for information to be used in our academic papers, why is there hesitation to make use of an online dating website?

* As a side note, I do not condone using Wikipedia as a secondary resource for anything. It's not that I have an irrational distrust in the honesty of humanity, I know it's just too easy and too tempting to put up false information just because you can! I do admit to using Wikipedia to get the basic info so that I can be more focused when looking for legitimate resources. 

I feel a bit hypocritical or something of the like because I am ranting on about this while enjoying the knowledge that I've found my guy for life and I don't need to be looking anywhere! However, for those of you who are still looking for someone, I challenge you to be more open minded about the online dating thing. There's no harm in just checking it out and I personally know instances where it's worked out very well for people. For everyone else, especially if you think like I did about 6 months ago, I challenge you to think about the value and function of online dating in our society. It's not flawless but maybe think twice before you scoff at the idea or at the people who sign up for "those things". Although there are some less serious members (like when you sign up just to see who you know from high school has opted for the online dating route), for the most part you've got to give the members credit for just admit that they're looking for someone special and recognizing a great resource they can use to help get them there. If you completely disagree, that's fine. I just hope you can keep an open mind :)